The Writers Guild
Twig has now moved to this address.

Join the forum, it's quick and easy

The Writers Guild
Twig has now moved to this address.
The Writers Guild
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.

The Verge of Breaking

+7
Komoda
Jade
CocoaPuff
FOREIGN?!
LuckyPenny666
shadowsowner888
Akeria
11 posters

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/12/2010, 2:27 pm

Well, hello.
I haven't seen you for a while, here,
Don't cha know?
Yes, everything's been fine, here,
How are you?
No I'm not the only child, here,
You are too.

And I said, "Hey there, don't you remember,
When we were so much younger?
It was only last December.
But I hoped you would remember.
Because I've been wishing,
My heart has been aching,
It's on the verge of breaking,
Because I've been wishing,
Just for you."

How's your life?
It's gotten oh, so dark, here,
You've got a wife?
I've been stranded in the park, here,
Don't you care?
But then I guess I've got a life, here,
Love's so rare.

Yes, I said "Hey there, don't you remember,
When we were so much younger?
It was only last December.
But I hoped you would remember.
Because I've been wishing,
My heart has been aching,
It's on the verge of breaking,
Because I've been wishing,
Just for you."

Sometimes I hoped that you would find
Your way back to me just in time
For me to see you as I once did
And you and I would skid
Back to where we once were,
When we once were Here.

But I said, "Hey there, don't you remember,
When we were so much younger?
It was only last December.
But I hoped you would remember.
Because I've been wishing,
My heart has been aching,
It's on the verge of breaking,
Because I've been wishing,
Just for you."
Just for you.
Just for you.
Just for you.
It's on the verge of breaking,
I'm on the verge of breaking.


Last edited by Akeria on 2/12/2010, 9:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by shadowsowner888 2/12/2010, 2:57 pm

:3 Amazing job, Keri. This is definitely a song. I could even hear a tune in my head as I read it. x3 It actually sounds really good, too.

Lol, well, the words themselves anyway, instead of my imaginary tune, are epic. Very Happy They're so sweet and awesome.
shadowsowner888
shadowsowner888
Admin

The Verge of Breaking 1312The Verge of Breaking 2412The Verge of Breaking 3349The Verge of Breaking 3548The Verge of Breaking 3327

Female Posts : 24391
Join date : 2009-06-08
Age : 29

http://www.shadowsowner888.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/12/2010, 3:03 pm

Thanks. Smile
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by LuckyPenny666 2/12/2010, 3:59 pm

You really did a great job with the song. Smile It's very well written and it has a lovely rythym.
LuckyPenny666
LuckyPenny666
Novella Composer
Novella Composer

Posts : 1084
Join date : 2009-08-15
Age : 628

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/12/2010, 4:11 pm

Thanks.
It took all of twenty minutes, to be honest. Once I know what I want to write about, I can just do it. The hard part is rhyming. -_-
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by LuckyPenny666 2/12/2010, 4:29 pm

Wow, it's so cool that you're able to do that! I can sometimes, but rhyming is also difficult for me. Usually, they come out bad, though.
LuckyPenny666
LuckyPenny666
Novella Composer
Novella Composer

Posts : 1084
Join date : 2009-08-15
Age : 628

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/12/2010, 4:35 pm

I look up words that rhyme with a word, and then when they give me stupid ones, I can usually get an idea. Lol.
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by LuckyPenny666 2/12/2010, 4:39 pm

XD That's awesome.
LuckyPenny666
LuckyPenny666
Novella Composer
Novella Composer

Posts : 1084
Join date : 2009-08-15
Age : 628

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/12/2010, 9:48 pm

Lol, thanks.
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by FOREIGN?! 2/12/2010, 10:32 pm

This. Is. Completely. Amazing! Very Happy
FOREIGN?!
FOREIGN?!
Novel Creator
Novel Creator

Posts : 2425
Join date : 2009-09-17
Age : 913

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by CocoaPuff 2/12/2010, 10:44 pm

It's amazing, I love how you made it have verses like a song. The title is great too!
CocoaPuff
CocoaPuff
Flash Fiction Scrawler
Flash Fiction Scrawler

Female Posts : 98
Join date : 2010-02-12
Age : 30

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/12/2010, 11:01 pm

Thank you?
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by CocoaPuff 2/12/2010, 11:07 pm

Why the question mark?
CocoaPuff
CocoaPuff
Flash Fiction Scrawler
Flash Fiction Scrawler

Female Posts : 98
Join date : 2010-02-12
Age : 30

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/12/2010, 11:12 pm

Mistake.

I asked my Mom a question at the same time, so I put that. My bad.

Thank you. Very Happy
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Jade 2/13/2010, 12:08 am

I had the extremely strong urge to give you a reputation point dunno way xD

Anyway, I love the poem!!
Jade
Jade
Novel Creator
Novel Creator

Female Posts : 2182
Join date : 2009-06-08

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/13/2010, 8:35 am

Very Happy Thank you x2!
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Komoda 2/14/2010, 10:26 am

This is epic, Akeria! It's amazing how you can have speaking in the song but still make it have a good rhythm. Great job! Smile
Komoda
Komoda
Best-Selling Author
Best-Selling Author

Posts : 6275
Join date : 2009-07-13

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/14/2010, 11:10 am

Very Happy Thank you.
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by rattyjol 2/14/2010, 1:54 pm

Amazing. Very Happy You should totally record this as a song.
rattyjol
rattyjol
Best-Selling Author
Best-Selling Author

My TwigAdopts!
My DragCave Scroll!
Female Posts : 15981
Join date : 2009-06-08
Age : 28

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Mrs. Amazon E Cullen 2/15/2010, 1:28 am

This was sooooo good.
It explains a part of my life..... )':
Great job!
Mrs. Amazon E Cullen
Mrs. Amazon E Cullen
Best-Selling Author
Best-Selling Author

Female Posts : 9048
Join date : 2009-10-15
Age : 26

http://lovelyislovely.hot-me.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/15/2010, 9:23 am

Thanks, Anita! I actually wrote the melody for it. I'm working on the piano part. But once I get it down, I'll record it and put it up. Very Happy

Oh, I'm sorry Amazon. Thank you, though.
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Avé 2/15/2010, 2:26 pm

Keri, this is amazing. You're so talented, did you know that?
Avé
Avé
Best-Selling Author
Best-Selling Author

Female Posts : 5955
Join date : 2009-09-16

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/15/2010, 2:44 pm

Smile Thank you, Ave.
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Imagine 2/15/2010, 2:46 pm

Whoah, that was really awesome. =)
Imagine
Imagine
Short Short Maker
Short Short Maker

Female Posts : 124
Join date : 2010-02-13
Age : 28

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Akeria 2/15/2010, 3:00 pm

Thanks, Imagine.
avatar
Akeria
Published Author
Published Author

Click the word counter to get to my TwigWriSum story!
Female Posts : 3571
Join date : 2009-06-09
Age : 30

http://raceagainstmachines.blogspot.com

Back to top Go down

The Verge of Breaking Empty Re: The Verge of Breaking

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum