Mo's Bloggy Blog - September 21st! I Has a Shield. *nod*

by **Komoda** 9/21/2009, 7:32 pm

Augh, I'm such a peoplephobe. Homosapienphobe... Hmmm...
*looks up the word*
Athropophobe! Okay, that's the word. nod

September 21st

Tomorrow is AUTUMN!!
Wheeeeeeeeeeee!! cheers

Well, that's the bright side of today's blog. nod

I'm so mopey and negative about everything... Maybe because I take too many things to the heart? Yeah... I mean, that's why I can't stand to be around Matt... Because I actually make an effort to be cheerful around people (Not really... I'm just giggly and awkward around my friends) when he sits there and gives off bad karma. Yeesh. I need to be friends with positive people.

That had nothing to do with anything... Ever notice that I'll be in the middle of trying to make a point then I'll just go on and on without making sense? Okay, so what I meant was that I'm mopey because I'm sensitive as heck, Matt does nothing but make my mopeyness worse because he's mopey too, and I should be friends with cheery peeps.

There.

So, before going on with whining about being mopey and such, I'll talk about how my trip to gramps' house was.

It was really fun, actually!

My aunt and uncle came to visit us from Texas. They brought their dogs, Lynn and Sadie. Lynn's really fun and energetic while Sadie's shy and doesn't like anyone. Sadie was a stray and she got really beat up from her previous owner and that's why she's the way she is... She wouldn't let me pet her, but I gave her a crust of bread and took her for a walk. Lynn knows me pretty well because I've known her since I was like four, so yeah... She's such a cute dog. ^^ They both are.

Anyways, I had fun with the dogs and chatting with my family. My uncle Chris gave me a book... XP It's called Eternal Lover. Omg, by far the dirtiest book I've ever read. It's a vampire love story... And it has a good plot... But jeez. It's like uber detailed Breaking Dawn.

But, I mean... I guess there's nothing wrong with that in reality. Like, why censor life?

Erm... Okay, straying off topic.

I also made my way onto a really big round bale and my dad took pictures with my cell. I love climbing on bales. ^^

Hey! Bale, like Christian Bale! And Christian Bale like Batman! And Batman like Bruce Wayne! And Brucey Wayne like my husband!
Yay! Very Happy

Um, anyway...
My grandpa also taught me some chords for the banjo then gave it to me. XP Now I gotta practice up and teach myself how to play it! Yee haw! :3

Also, there was another cute puppy named Red. He looked like a corgi and he was SOO sweet! He leaped onto my lap. Very Happy

He also kinda stood on his hind paws and leaned against my leg so I could pet him. My dog does that too, but she's a lot bigger so I have to like hold her up so she doesn't claw me... XP Red's Susan and her husband's dog. I think they're like family friends or something.

So yeah. It was more fun than I thought! ^^

Now, for today.

Today was alright. Got lots of math homework, did jack in French except for like read, laugh at Landon and listen to our teacher talk about himself, and science was good. We did an experiment that my group failed at...
Now, in my group is Connor (Nathan's BFF), Pascal (My good friend's old classmate) and Eric (Some smart guy who's pretty cool).
Basically, in the beginning Pascal and I were doing all the work because we had to like make lightbulbs light up. Then Connor and Eric were calling us idiots... Okay, so maybe we were kind of idiots. But they could have told us BEFORE that we weren't supposed to connect the negative charge with the positive charge or we'd burn our hands!

Anyway, I had fun talking to Connor. Somehow we got on the topic of Andrew (who's this guy who went to his school) and we were trying to describe him to Pascal. Then I described him perfectly and he asked how I knew him, so I said my friend liked him. Then Connor was like bouncing on the seat asking me who, but I refused to tell. He guessed it was Mallory though and I kinda didn't say anything, so that gave it away. She's not mad at me, though. XP

I'm a terrible friend. But oh well, Conny won't tell.

Ha, Conny.

So we did so much talking that we got nothing done. Biggg surrprise..

I enjoy talking to Connor though. He's smart, and funny. nod

He teases though, but it's not like he's mean about it... Ye know what I mean?

Yeah...

Then lunch was awesome. Xand and I went to A&W. It was pretty good, I got two more packs of sugar. We almost got lost on our way back but yeahhh...

Then there was art.

Now, Nathan was wearing a sweater so I almost didn't recognize him. He normally wears T-Shirts. nod

So, anywho... I was working on my self-portrait, right? And pretty much everyone liked it. I'm not saying that to brag, I'm just saying that because you need that information...
Because Nathan was the only one who didn't like it. Besides the art teacher and like Dylan, but Dylan's just like that. He was kidding around.

So anyway, yeah... Landon thought it was really good, so since I showed his to Nathan (I thought Landon's was good) he stole mine and showed it to him. Yeah...

Nathan said the nose was off. I thought so too, but yeah... Not like I could fix it because the pencils the teacher makes us use are too dark. But yeah, I kinda took that to heart. Because I take everything to heart, you know? Especially with my drawings. And especially since it was Nathan.

But yeah, oh well. If he noticed that, he obviously would have to know what my nose looks like, right? So yeahh...

But still, whatever. I wonder if he knew that upset me. Because I kinda like flushed, probably, and dropped my stuff everywhere then didn't really talk much for the rest of the period... But yeah. Nathan's oblivious to everything, so it'd make sense if he didn't notice. Besides, my dreams warned me that he wasn't a very nice person. With the whole, "I Believe in Miracles," dream thing... Where he was singing love songs to me and stuff just to mock the fact that he knew I liked him.

Harumph.

He kept on looking over me within like the minute after he said that, so maybe he knew I was upset by it. Yeah, I ignored him.

Lol, if he knew I made such a big deal about everything he probably wouldn't have said it.

But seriously, I'm super sensitive. I mean, I don't always show it... But I get really hurt whenever someone says something mean... Whether they're teasing or not. That's why I dyed my hair because I was sick of all the freaking blond jokes. Okay, I'm an idiot. But I'm obviously not that bad if I got an award for getting the highest average in my class.

Wow, I'm a really terrible writer with my blogs. But I love to write them and it's nice to not have to try to make it perfect.. Because though not everyone reads it, it's a place where I can blow off some steam and talk about pretty much whatever without worrying about my friends rolling their eyes at me... Charly doesn't know how much she hurts me when she ignores me like that. None of my friends know how much they hurt me. But that's because I laugh it off...

Anyway, English was alright. I spread sugar on the window sills to make it look like druggies were there (so mature, I know) then I drew a sugary smiley face on the floor. I gave my other packet of sugar to Landon so that he could sniff it... Lol.

Connor said that Mallory was ticked off with me, but she really wasn't.

Ha, I've talked about Conny more in this blog than Nathan. Maybe because I'm a little angry with Nathan.

Okay, now I talk behind people's backs A LOT in these... But that's to prevent me from saying things like this to people that actually know them. I know anyone in the world can see this, but I need to get out all my thoughts somehow. I journal would work too, but typing is so much easier.

Okay, which brings me to this.

Now, ever since getting to know Connor better, I realized maybe I should have chosen to like Connor instead of Nathan.

It's weird how things turned out. I didn't like Connor because everyone did... He's the typical good looking, probably sporty, hockey hair guy that everyone loves.

Except that's not at all what it's like.

He's smart, funny, not entirely sweet but when he teases, he's not mean about it, and he's pretty good looking. He has really tanned skin, nice teeth, nice hair, nice eyes. XP So descriptive of me. He's not a know-it-all, but he's actually really good at math and stuff. I like talking to him.

Whereas Nathan...
Well, he's good looking. He plays football. He cheats on tests. He hasn't been nice in the while I've known him. He laughs like a jock. You know, that stereotypical jock laugh? Yeah. He's pretty much the living, breathing image of a typical jock.

I don't go for jocks. At all.

Now, maybe it's just the hurt speaking here, but I've honestly thought about this since I first talked to Connor. Or maybe since I noticed that Connor looks over at me a lot in English class. It could be just because I'm always looking at Nathan and so is he (because they're pals) so our eyes just meet, but still...

Hmm...

Ah, then on the bus, we have assigned seats. I have to sit beside some person I don't know... Augh. While all the little kids get their own seats. I never sit with anyone. My bus driver should know that I hate people. I don't hate people, but I don't like people in my personal space. Which is why I said I have people phobia or whatever.

But that's okay, because I have my shield. I was reading this thing about how shy people worry that there's something wrong with them because no one talks to them, but it's because they unconsciously have a protective shield around them... It makes sense, too. I'm supposed to open up my shield so that I can make friends (you know, not cross my arms, smile and such) so I've been trying to do that. But I put up my shield when I need to, so I can still have my alone time on the bus. I enjoy just listening to music in peace.

Um, I like talking a lot. XP But that's it fer now.

Thanks so much for reading! Bye guys. Smile