Komoda's Venting Blog for October 2nd

by **Komoda** 10/2/2009, 7:39 pm

Not only do I feel like I'm going to throw up...
But I also have a cold, hate Charly, am going to fail science, and Nathan definitely thinks I'm a loser.

So, life's not that great at the moment. But I guess people have it worse than me...

Like the guy who cut his face open on that cliff thing that he jumped off. Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh. If something says "18+" on it, you better believe it.

Seriously, some guy from my school posted a video on FB... And at first there were all these warnings on it, then there was this guy who was jumping into the water... Then there was lots of blood, and it showed him in the hospital. He was still breathing, but his face was all cut open... And you could see his jaw... And it was freaking real. Not even kidding.

Oh gosh. I think I'm going to throw up.

That was worse than all the Jeffrey Dahmer pictures.

But yeah, I deleted Charly off of my phone and off of FB. That was the last straw. She stole my wallet, took my ID card out, and showed Nathan. When I look TERRIBLE in that picture, and she knows it. She also kept on taking my stuff and it really ticked me off. She's just a manipulative, lying, selfish little tease and I can't stand her.

I'm seriously going to try my best not to be friends with her anymore. She's like poison. All she really cares about is Alex and Sam. Sam's too nice for her, in my opinion, but her and Alex deserve each other, really.

I've already separated myself from her for the most part. We never hang out for lunch anymore. I just can't stand her. She freaking lies about everything, she's immature, she just ruins everything for me... *Sigh*

And to top things off, I left my science text book at school so I won't be able to do the work sheet do for Monday that I barely started. I'm screwed.

I think I lost it. I swear I brought it with me because there's no way I could have put it back on the shelf... Oh gosh. Those things cost 400 dollars! I don't know what I'll do. DX

It was such an easy work sheet, too... All I needed was the bloody text. But it's gone.

Sometimes I wonder...

Is dying better than living?

I mean, I know love's apparently supposed to be pretty great... But I don't have that. I have decent friends (excluding you know who) and I have a caring family. I'm not exactly as close with them as I could be, though...

I wonder what would happen if I'd die. If people would care. How many people would cry. I wonder if Nathan would care... Meh, probably not.

But it's comforting to imagine, I s'pose.

Anyway, back to the point. I can't see how things can get any worse than living, really. Other than love, life kinda blows. I mean, you go to work, you eat, you sleep. And it's the same pattern all of life. Sure, there's fun every once and a while...

But what's the point in even trying to live?

Things better improve after life. Or else... Well... Idk.

On the bright side... (As if there actually is one...)

Nathan got in trouble in art class for trying to talk to me. Which, I know, I shouldn't take pleasure out of... But still. And then he sat beside me.

But whatever. That doesn't mean anything.

Oh gosh. I was reading the comments on that nasty video and it made me even more sick, because someone said: That struck a nerve in me. It's sad how scared he looks in the operating room, his eyes look terrified.

Oh gosh. Oh gosh.

Which brings me back to another one of my theories.

I'm scared to die, because what if I get tortured in another life?

I know it's unlikely I'll get tortured in this life, knock on wood, but I'm scared it could happen...

But then again, I have this irrational fear of torture, so maybe it's already happened. I guess you couldn't call a fear of torture irrational, because it seems pretty rational in my opinion... But still. It would make sense if I was tortured in a past life, because I'm absolutely disgusted by it. But once I get thinking about it, I can't stop... It scares me so much. DX Just imagining something like that makes me want to throw up. I abslutely hate it.

Torture and The Burning Ages are two of my worst fears. In The Burning Ages, nine million innocent people, mainly women and children, were burned alive and tortured. It makes me absolutely sick. When I read about it, I felt furious. It was as if it the ones being burned were the enemies. And people who turned them in to be tortured were rewarded for doing so! REWARDED! They were rewarded for sentencing innocent people to an excruciatingly painful death. They got some of the victims' possessions, their property, and the rest of it went to the churches...

Okay, so I'm supposed to be focusing more on the present and future, I know, but I just can't help it. It makes absolute disgusted that our species is capable of such brutality. Okay, so they thought they were Witches, and okay, some of them were. But SO WHAT? Did the Witches ever do something so sick and twisted? No! So who are the real monsters!? The ones with the herbs and stones in their cabinets, or the ones who burned alive millions of people! Millions!!

Oh gosh, I've been needing to vent about that for a while.

-.-

Anyway...

Speaking of stuff like that, Charly said "Oh good God" today.

So I turned to her and said, "If you don't believe in Him, how come you say His name?"

And she was like, "Because He's the enemy, I hate Him, blah blah blah."

So I was like, "Uh, you don't believe in Him though."

"Yeah..."

"So why are you using His name?"

Then Matt was all like, "God doesn't exist. It's only man."

And then I yell at him to stop forcing his religion on me (XD) and that I don't believe in that, etc.

Then he goes and says he's God.

One of these days...
Mad

Long story short, they all think I'm some sort of Jesus Freak. Not that there's anything wrong with that...
But I'm not Christian, so I really hope that they don't think I am.

They know nothing about my religion, and neither does anyone. Except for like my mom, because I can't tell anyone.

*sigh*

But...

As Swifty would say...

What did we learn today?

That Komoda is not in a good mood.

by Webkinz-lover#1 10/3/2009, 9:19 am

Aw, I would care and cry if you died, Mo! Sad

Yeah, there's lots of downs in life, and I mean lots of them, but there is always the good times, the good memories and your friends and family. :] If you ever need to rant, I'm open. :]

Hope you have a better day! :]
~WL1