The Sown Shadow - Not recent; another coming soon.
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The Sown Shadow - Not recent; another coming soon.
by shadowsowner888 1/23/2010, 11:13 am
Written 10/21/09.
=( . . . I’m having an emo moment.
Not literally. I’m not hurting myself again, or anything like that . . . though I sort of want to. Please don’t get on my case about it, because I know what you’d tell me. “Don’t hurt yourself, ever.”
The thing is . . . words mean hardly anything to me. There’s no power in those words that can honestly keep me from doing it . . . if anything, they might drive me closer to it. What I really need is somebody who just sympathizes . . . agrees with me, reassures me, makes me feel better about myself, and just is willing to be my friend. That’s all I want. All I need. ._.
Not sure what caused it. It would seem that hearing how the other kids got to have Burgerking while I got left out caused it . . . don’t even know what’s so bad about that. ._. It wasn’t like mom would ever have got it to me before I had to go to band. I just . . . I like Burgerking . . . I’ve been waiting a while, wanting to order a Batman Burger and eat a lovely hamburger . . . so, partly, I’m jealous and hurt. But I think it might’ve been all the little things, too.
My day started off amazing. I’d gone to bed at a decent time - ish - for once. So when I woke up, it was cus my little Angel was wandering around the house to try getting somebody to let her outside. That was around 5:45. I wasn’t much tired; I felt awake. So, though I made up my mind to go back to bed until six, I didn’t actually sleep. Instead I had one of those moments I love . . . I haven’t been awake enough to have one for so long. =) Where I can fantasize about boys . . . this time, it was Damian. And I was Hayley . . . *sigh* x3 Then, since I was up so early, I managed to finish all of my stuff by noon. Which is the first time ever this school year . . . I really should get a decent sleep more often.
But then, the Burgerking thing . . . and not getting to talk about serious things to Ann . . . and half my other friends not showing up to band . . . ._. I think it got to me for a moment.
I feel better now, though. ^^ I was hanging out with my baby sis for a while . . . her happiness is infectuous. Someday, I want my own kid . . . it’ll be awesome. x3
So . . . I got another one of those stranger smiles. In band, this time. ^^ I don’t remember his name, but the guy who sits in front of me - this totally hot guy who’s pretty tall and has dark hair, and would make a pretty good David - well, Pugs inspired me, so I was talking loudly about how I wanted to get a bright blue trumpet. So the people in front of me heard me, and we were laughing about it, and Mr. Werewolf (cus he’s just that hot) suggested I spraypaint mine. ^^ Ah, he has such a lovely face . . . not even just when he’s smiling. He always looks gorgeous. I must discover his name!
And then there’s Nate . . . this Nate is a saxophonist in the highest band, and a buddy of Ann and Nicklaus’. We’re starting to be buddies, too, and he’s sorta cute, and really friendly and funny. ^^
On the topic of all my little guy fantasies . . . Megatokyo has reminded me of something. There is no perfect guy . . . you just have to find the happiness where you can.
And, gosh darn it, I wish (spoiler alert) Piro and Nanasawa Kimiko would kiss already! >.> They like each other so much, but they’re too afraid to admit it to each other . . . they’re so cute together, too . . .
Also - OMG. Epic OMG. I read the short piece at the end of the fourth Megatokyo . . . it uses the same characters, but puts them in an entirely different situation and story. It’s about these girls with wings on their backs, and they seem to be something that most people hate . . . except the two guys in the piece, who seem to be trying to protect them or something. And, there’s talk about winds that come . . . not sure if it’s literal or just a metaphor for death, but the winds for these winged girls signify a sort of passing on. You simply must read it (it’s on the Megatokyo website somewhere) . . . but I shall summarize it, cus it’s just that epic.
See . . . Largo’s always talking a bit of nonsense. Stuff about pushing the wind back. Which his buddy doesn’t really get, because it’s obviously not logical. But Largo keeps coming up with new ideas, trying to somehow stop it.
Well, Piro accidentally hurts this random winged person they find. So they bring her to some place to help her, trying to make her better, and Largo’s like, “Where’s the other one?!” Piro’s all, “Huh?!” but the girl knows what he means. She tells him that she was gone for a long time . . . there was storms, and a wind . . . and she never came back.
Piro’s kinda clueless, but this look of despair goes through Largo’s face. Then the power goes off, so Largo sulks off to start up the generator. The girl and Piro get to talking, and she tells Piro that the other one was somebody like her who Largo’s always talking about. Every time he talks about pushing the wind back, he’s talking about her.
Then it goes to Largo. He’s pounding angrily on the generator, and he has a flashback about ‘the other one.’ He’s going crazy, trying to find a way to keep the wind from taking her, because her time’s coming soon . . . and they love each other so much. ._. It’s just so sweet. But the girl tells him just to stop, because she knows it’s hopeless. So they’re just standing there and hugging.
Later, the one Piro hurt dies. And they’re all freaking out, and Largo goes outside all upset, and starts yelling at the storm. He climbs up onto one of the windmill thingies, and screams, “So you just let it take you? You won’t even fight it?? I said I would push back the wind for you! Why wouldn’t you let me?”
._. And . . . he dies. I almost started crying . . . it was just so sad. So sweet. So . . . so amazing. I loved it. I must buy these books . . .
And, when I’m done reading them, I have to read the real version of Maximum Ride, the second of the manga, and The Last Book in The Universe. All of which I currently have checked out from the library. ^^
Woah, actually, I think I have the second normal MR as well. Fancy that.
Thank you for reading, and putting up with my mopy beginning. ^^
=( . . . I’m having an emo moment.
Not literally. I’m not hurting myself again, or anything like that . . . though I sort of want to. Please don’t get on my case about it, because I know what you’d tell me. “Don’t hurt yourself, ever.”
The thing is . . . words mean hardly anything to me. There’s no power in those words that can honestly keep me from doing it . . . if anything, they might drive me closer to it. What I really need is somebody who just sympathizes . . . agrees with me, reassures me, makes me feel better about myself, and just is willing to be my friend. That’s all I want. All I need. ._.
Not sure what caused it. It would seem that hearing how the other kids got to have Burgerking while I got left out caused it . . . don’t even know what’s so bad about that. ._. It wasn’t like mom would ever have got it to me before I had to go to band. I just . . . I like Burgerking . . . I’ve been waiting a while, wanting to order a Batman Burger and eat a lovely hamburger . . . so, partly, I’m jealous and hurt. But I think it might’ve been all the little things, too.
My day started off amazing. I’d gone to bed at a decent time - ish - for once. So when I woke up, it was cus my little Angel was wandering around the house to try getting somebody to let her outside. That was around 5:45. I wasn’t much tired; I felt awake. So, though I made up my mind to go back to bed until six, I didn’t actually sleep. Instead I had one of those moments I love . . . I haven’t been awake enough to have one for so long. =) Where I can fantasize about boys . . . this time, it was Damian. And I was Hayley . . . *sigh* x3 Then, since I was up so early, I managed to finish all of my stuff by noon. Which is the first time ever this school year . . . I really should get a decent sleep more often.
But then, the Burgerking thing . . . and not getting to talk about serious things to Ann . . . and half my other friends not showing up to band . . . ._. I think it got to me for a moment.
I feel better now, though. ^^ I was hanging out with my baby sis for a while . . . her happiness is infectuous. Someday, I want my own kid . . . it’ll be awesome. x3
So . . . I got another one of those stranger smiles. In band, this time. ^^ I don’t remember his name, but the guy who sits in front of me - this totally hot guy who’s pretty tall and has dark hair, and would make a pretty good David - well, Pugs inspired me, so I was talking loudly about how I wanted to get a bright blue trumpet. So the people in front of me heard me, and we were laughing about it, and Mr. Werewolf (cus he’s just that hot) suggested I spraypaint mine. ^^ Ah, he has such a lovely face . . . not even just when he’s smiling. He always looks gorgeous. I must discover his name!
And then there’s Nate . . . this Nate is a saxophonist in the highest band, and a buddy of Ann and Nicklaus’. We’re starting to be buddies, too, and he’s sorta cute, and really friendly and funny. ^^
On the topic of all my little guy fantasies . . . Megatokyo has reminded me of something. There is no perfect guy . . . you just have to find the happiness where you can.
And, gosh darn it, I wish (spoiler alert) Piro and Nanasawa Kimiko would kiss already! >.> They like each other so much, but they’re too afraid to admit it to each other . . . they’re so cute together, too . . .
Also - OMG. Epic OMG. I read the short piece at the end of the fourth Megatokyo . . . it uses the same characters, but puts them in an entirely different situation and story. It’s about these girls with wings on their backs, and they seem to be something that most people hate . . . except the two guys in the piece, who seem to be trying to protect them or something. And, there’s talk about winds that come . . . not sure if it’s literal or just a metaphor for death, but the winds for these winged girls signify a sort of passing on. You simply must read it (it’s on the Megatokyo website somewhere) . . . but I shall summarize it, cus it’s just that epic.
See . . . Largo’s always talking a bit of nonsense. Stuff about pushing the wind back. Which his buddy doesn’t really get, because it’s obviously not logical. But Largo keeps coming up with new ideas, trying to somehow stop it.
Well, Piro accidentally hurts this random winged person they find. So they bring her to some place to help her, trying to make her better, and Largo’s like, “Where’s the other one?!” Piro’s all, “Huh?!” but the girl knows what he means. She tells him that she was gone for a long time . . . there was storms, and a wind . . . and she never came back.
Piro’s kinda clueless, but this look of despair goes through Largo’s face. Then the power goes off, so Largo sulks off to start up the generator. The girl and Piro get to talking, and she tells Piro that the other one was somebody like her who Largo’s always talking about. Every time he talks about pushing the wind back, he’s talking about her.
Then it goes to Largo. He’s pounding angrily on the generator, and he has a flashback about ‘the other one.’ He’s going crazy, trying to find a way to keep the wind from taking her, because her time’s coming soon . . . and they love each other so much. ._. It’s just so sweet. But the girl tells him just to stop, because she knows it’s hopeless. So they’re just standing there and hugging.
Later, the one Piro hurt dies. And they’re all freaking out, and Largo goes outside all upset, and starts yelling at the storm. He climbs up onto one of the windmill thingies, and screams, “So you just let it take you? You won’t even fight it?? I said I would push back the wind for you! Why wouldn’t you let me?”
._. And . . . he dies. I almost started crying . . . it was just so sad. So sweet. So . . . so amazing. I loved it. I must buy these books . . .
And, when I’m done reading them, I have to read the real version of Maximum Ride, the second of the manga, and The Last Book in The Universe. All of which I currently have checked out from the library. ^^
Woah, actually, I think I have the second normal MR as well.
Fancy that.Thank you for reading, and putting up with my mopy beginning. ^^
shadowsowner888- Admin
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Re: The Sown Shadow - Not recent; another coming soon.
by Arianna 1/23/2010, 11:23 am
I'm sorry that you're not feeling good. I'm not in a great mood, either. :/
Anyways, nice blog.
Anyways, nice blog.
Arianna- Best-Selling Author
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Re: The Sown Shadow - Not recent; another coming soon.
by Jinx 1/23/2010, 11:32 am
Physical pain grants you a few moments freedom from the emotional, right?=( . . . I’m having an emo moment.
Not literally. I’m not hurting myself again, or anything like that . . . though I sort of want to.
I know that. There have been times when the sudden desire simply to bang my head against the wall over and over until it bleeds has seized me.
Good thing I'm a wimp, and haven't ever gotten to the bleeding part.
Jinx- Published Author
- {{Avvie thanks to Ave]
I wish I had covered all my tracks completely
'Cause I'm so afraid
Is that the light at the far end of the tunnel
Or just the train?~Tidal wave, Owl city.
Posts : 3205
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Re: The Sown Shadow - Not recent; another coming soon.
by shadowsowner888 1/23/2010, 11:54 am
Thanks, Ari. :/ I'm sorry you're not so great right now either. *huggle*
Thanks.
Yes, Mea, exactly! That's exactly it! ^^ You understand.
Thanks.
Yes, Mea, exactly! That's exactly it! ^^ You understand.
shadowsowner888- Admin
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Posts : 24391
Join date : 2009-06-08
Age : 29 -
Jinx- Published Author
- {{Avvie thanks to Ave]
I wish I had covered all my tracks completely
'Cause I'm so afraid
Is that the light at the far end of the tunnel
Or just the train?~Tidal wave, Owl city.
Posts : 3205
Join date : 2009-06-08
Age : 28 -
Re: The Sown Shadow - Not recent; another coming soon.
by Komoda 1/25/2010, 10:28 pm
Aw, sorry about before... :/ I'm glad you feel better now, er, or if you do... Gah, well anyway, I completely understand the second paragraph. I feel like that all of the time.
Yay for being obsessed with manga!
It's quite thrilling, isn't it?
Nice bloggy. =3
Yay for being obsessed with manga!
It's quite thrilling, isn't it?Nice bloggy. =3
Komoda- Best-Selling Author
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Join date : 2009-07-13
Re: The Sown Shadow - Not recent; another coming soon.
by shadowsowner888 1/26/2010, 8:56 pm
That's okay. ^^ Lol, I'm glad you can understand.
:3 Quite!!
Thank yuu. ^^
:3 Quite!!
Thank yuu. ^^
shadowsowner888- Admin
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Posts : 24391
Join date : 2009-06-08
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