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Vanity

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Vanity Empty Vanity

Post by Jade 1/30/2010, 3:30 pm

Their eye's meet yours, but their's hold confidence.
Confidence achieved by the click on their stiletto boots on marble,
Achieved By the label sewed into the neckline of their shirt
And the way their hair shines.

Vanity, pure vanity,
Is what the world has become.
A Mix of
A certain manner
Billions of connections
Confidence
Diets
Elegance
Fitting the mold
Gracefulness
Height
Inachieveable goals
Joking about the 'uglies' in the world not
'K'aring who you step on
Labels
Money
No time for acting stupid
On top of your game
Perfume
Romances
Secrets
TV
Using people to get what you want
VIP everything
Warped expectations
X- Rated Romances
Y? For what?
Zany I tell you.
Jade
Jade
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Post by DiscardedHarmony 1/30/2010, 6:51 pm

Wow, the structure as kind of... all over the place. I'd say, pick one format for a poem to be in, and stick to it. I liked the poem itself, but I had to read it a few times to really get it, because I kept getting distracted by the structure of the poem, and how it flowed. Great poem, I mean, good words and phrases, and the way you put it was very nice, but it was a bit distracting.
DiscardedHarmony
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Age : 27

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Post by shadowsowner888 1/31/2010, 9:57 am

I like the way you were able to do the alphabetical thing so well! ^^ But yeah, like Harmony said, it did seem a little more distracting . . . I probably wouldn't have liked it as much if it was just the alphabet, though, for the record. xD
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