Boys-Chapter Three Out!!

Melody

The main character:

Melody...obviously

This story is about a 12 year old girl. She just started middle school and her birthday was last month. She is in the third trimester and still has been single her entire life. Watch as she tries to get some boyfriends, friends and sometimes the wrong ones. I would say only read this if you are into kissing and whatnot.

Chapter One

Melody awoke to the sound of her alarm clock. She made her bed then ran downstairs to breakfast. She lives in a house where the entire top floor is one room, her bedroom. She got a door installed at the top of the stairs for some privacy though. She ate some waffles then went upstairs , grabbed her laptop, and sat on her bed cross-legged. She always woke up very early to get some blogging in. Melody began typing:

Dear Blog,
Good morning to anyone reading this. So it is the morning of the first day of the third trimester. And I still have no boyfriend! What kind of world is this? Everywhere I look I see couples making out but I have no boyfriend to make out with. Whats the point? I have plenty of single guy friends. Am I unapealing? I will take care of that.
Starting to plan,
Melody

She then closed her computar and walked over to her closet to pick out something to wear. Jeans and a t-shirt. Simple enough right? Suddenly she got an idea. "Maybe I am too simple!" she thought aloud as she raced to her laptop.

Step One to boyfriend: Not so simple

Then she grabbed her dye, scissors, and some old clothes and took them to her sewing machine. An hour later and she had a strappless shirt with red and black horizontal stripes,a black and red tutu, knee high red and black socks and one black van with red shoestrings and one red van with black shoestrings. She walked over to her vanity, scissors in hand, and cut her hair. It was then shoulder-length and very curly with bangs that covered one eye. After she straightenned her hair it was just below her shoulder blade and the bangs were perfect. Finally she decided to do her makeup. She put on blood red lipstick with thick eyeliner and mascara and some red eyeshadow with black on the outside and shadowing her eyes. "A different me" she said.
Chapter Two

Melody smiled at her new look. She grabbed her jean bookbag that was ripped and patched and very worn out then ran downstairs. "Bye mom Bye dad!" she yelled. Her mother was standing right there but said nothing about her new look. She didn't care. Melody walked all the way to school and walked through the front doors. Not many people were there. She hurried to the second floor and to her locked. It was the only one that was colored with sharpie, red and black stripes. Her favorite color. She opened it up and got the stuff she needed before heading to the window. It had a large window sill which she climbed into and took out her drawing pad. She just finished drawing an eagle when Nolan walked by. He hardly ever payed attention to her but this time he walked over. "Melody?" he asked, unsure if it was her. "Yeah?" she asked, looking up from her drawing she was now coloring. "You look different" he said with a smile. "I know. You like it?" she asked, sitting up so he could sit next to her, which he did. "Yeah, a lot." he said looking at her up and down. "Are you checking me out?" she said unbeleivably. "I think so" he said and they both laughed. "So what are you drawing?" Nolan said then leaned over to look."An eagle bursting out of confetti and ribbons." she explained. "Hey your coloring it red and black, my favorite colors." he smiled. "Really? Those are my favorite too." she said. They continued talking until the bell rang.

Chapter Three

The bell rang to signal the end of sixth period, the end of school. She grabbed her backpack and ran out the door before taking out her cellphone and beginning the long walk home. BEEP-BEEP. She got a text.

From:Nolan
Subject:Hey
Message:
Hey wanna go out with me?

Melody got excited, but felt it was a joke.

To:Nolan
Subject:Re::Hey
Message:
Go out where?

SENDING....
MESSAGE SENT

Melody then kept walking to her house, until eventually she got another text

From:Nolan
Subject:Re::Hey
Message:
No I mean do you want to be my girlfriend?

Finally she knew it wasn't a joke.

To:Nolan

Yes

Wow she just changed her look and already a boyfriend? She walked into her house and ran upstairs. She was so happy that she threw her backpack down and jumped on her bed screaming.

Chapter Four

After jumping around thinking of her new boyfriend, Melody walked downstairs and picked out something to eat. She carried a bag of cheez-its upstairs and did her homework at her desk, not that it was easy concentrating. After half an hour of hardwork, she noticed that for every answer she had answered either Love or Nolan. Frusterated that she was so easily distracted, she erased it all furiously and re-did it. When she finally finished her homework, she jumped on her computer.As her hands still shook with excitement, she clicked the address bar and typed in www . myspace . com, even though she kept having to fix her mistakes because her fingers were going to fast.

Melody logged in and checked out her notifications. "New Friend Requests". That confused her. She spent a full five minutes just sitting there, thinking of who it would be. She kept hoping it was Nolan, and decided to finally check to see who it was. *CLICK*. Nolan it was! Melody smiled then got all shaky again as she accepted. Then she scrolled through her friends to find nobody online, so she logged off.

Oooh la la! I can't wait to read more.

May I offer a suggestion for your writing style?

Sure, I always take suggestions.

I thought that it was really good! You should wirte some more...

Chapter Three is now up!!

Yay! :3 I'm so happy for her!

Okay, now, that suggestion . . . it would be to work a bit more on fleshing your story out by adding details, emotion, stuff like that. It'll help pull the readers into your story better. So instead of saying this:

Melody got excited, but felt it was a joke.

You could expand on it and say,

"Oh my god," she whispered, her eyes widening in ecstasy. A huge grin came to her face, and when she again cried, "Oh my god!" it was practically a scream. Melody was getting ready to jump up and down, dancing around the house and singing with excitement - but then she wondered . . . what if it was just a joke?

Just as an example. And whether you take the advice or not, that's okay.

Oooh, I like it! Write more please!

Okay I will take that advice and use it in my next chapter. But, I can't add to the story right away because I am currently editing up my website right now.

All right, cool!

Sorry for the short chapter, just trying out Shadow's advice.

How's that working out for you?

I personally like it better.

Okay, I lost the entire next three chapters to the story, which I spent near two hours creating. *frusterated*

Wow, that really stinks...I'm sorry I hope you can write it again.

I don't know its just that, I am not very into this type of story lately. I have a great idea on another type of story I will start soon though, and it will be very cool (I think), but mostly a fantasy that is partially sci-fi.