Torn into a True Lie: The REAL Version!

Chapter 1
Lost and Gained


The full moon was out. I silently sighed to myself, cold air came out of my mouth. The moon's reflection bounced from the lake into my emerald green eyes. Dawn was not near me right now, thank goodness. She is one of my best friends that LOVES to talk. If you interrupt her sentence, she screams and says "I'm talking!" She's so funny. Too bad Dawn and I don't live anywhere near eachother, it would be nice. I walked along the lake, my foo-length black dress dragging a little bit. The dress I was wearing was for the prom, but I ran home before anyone could say who the Prom Queen was. Nobody liked to pick the girl that wears black all the time. My dark brown hair was curled at the ends, which made it slightly less shorter than it normally was. It's normally down to my waist, but today it was halfway up my body.



Chapter 2
Our Friendship



As night turned to morning, I couldn't help but to think about the prom. Did I become Prom Queen or did someone else become Prom Queen? Since I never sleep, it's up to me to rid the world of creatures that kill at night. Last night wasn't very pretty. I stopped a vampire from biting an innocent 16 year old. I'm not going into much detail, it'll freak you out. The sun was very low in the sky, I was still wearing my dress. Sigh. Oh well, I'll just wear it to school. It was a very thin dress, coming down ad around my legs tightly. Dawn came over to my house, she didn't know that I was immortal, or rather a "non-sleeper." She only knew I was always tired inthe mornings. "Where'd you go last night, Rosset?" she asked. "I left, it was boring at prom."


Chapter 3
Trouble


At school, everyone stared at me as I walked by. They noticed something different about me, something abut my skin. Was it that it changed to a rare color? No. Did it look weird? No. I was as pale as my skin would go. Great. My immortalization is complete. I'm now a vampire. Hopefully, I don't try to snap at anyone to where it gets ugly. My jaws felt really bad, so I rushed into the bathroom. "Everyone out!" I said quickly. The girls left immediatly, they didn't want trouble with me. I looked into the mirror, fangs were beginning to grow. I moaned. "This takes a week for them to grow! Why me? Why not Dawn or Samantha?" just then, someone walked in. I hissed at them and they ran for their lives. "If I'm a vampire, then I have powers. Maybe I can turn invisible!" I tried, nothing. "Read minds?" Nope. "Walk through walls?" I tried to walk through the wall. I walked right through it. "Alright!" It turns out I walked straight into the middle of Spanish class. "Oh...no."


Chapter 4
Parents


"If my life is the truth, then why do I have so many thoughts?" I asked my parents. "Because God gave you this gift, accept it or deny it." Mother said. I rolled my eyes. "What's with all this 'God' stuff? Mother, your driving me crazy!" She crinkled her eyebrows. "Last time I checked, I'm a vampire and you aren't." She grew angry by the second. "Rosset Marie Dylan! What is the matter with you?" she fussed. "You're so annoying! I'm a vampire! You HAVE to realize that I can't sleep or eat like a human anymore!" Gosh. She is so annoying sometimes. "You don't know me, Rosset. You know nothing about me." she replied clamly.



Chapter 5
Prom Queen


Turns out I was Prom Queen. Just great. Why would anyone choose me, of all people? I would rather die again than have to be prom queen. Lots of people asked to take a picture of me but all that came out was the wall I was standing in front of. I bet that if anyone knew I was a vampire, they'd drive a stake to my heart or get a cross and stick it on my forehead. Too bad those are just myths, I heal whenever something happens. Just yesterday my ankle snapped and it repaired quickly. It's a good thing, I won't need any surgery. My red eyes flickered from the tree and to the school. I went for the tree. I raced toward it and jumped onto it like a cat.

Final Chapter

Secrets Being Kept

The crisp smell of a rabbit swept by my nostrils and I smiled. I followed the scent and caught the rabbit. After finishing my meal, I swept off to school. As I walked into the bathroom, a girl was talking to herself. "I shall destroy the vampire named Rosset......." she said in a vicious tone. Uh oh. She knew my secret. I closed the door and ran for my immortal life. Nobody noticed me because I was walking through the walls and running about 50 miles an hour. I ran to the small, creaky place I used to call home and slammed the door. "Mother! Someone's going to kill me!"
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I like the story, it's ideas, and your style of writing.
I do with at the end you would have continued after the bit where she runs into her house. It feels like it needs more to it.
Otherwise, you are a very talented writer and I encourage you to do more.

There's actually a second book but it's getting major editing.

Each chapter is a little short.. But I like the style of writing

Supposed to be short due to lack of energy/I was too lazy to write the whole thing.