The Final Rainbow

by **Cyn431** 4/29/2010, 9:05 pm

Red
The memories on my skin
Sleeplessness of my whites
All that flees from the tourniquet
The living fury of my fight

Orange
The color of humanity
The silk atop my head
The heat pounding on me
Much weaker than red

Yellow
The light that I see
The false hope above
Some blinding me with pain
Others fading from enough

Green
My face just moments ago
What's getting cleaned up now
The life surrounding my refuge
The attitude of my lover so foul

Blue
What's falling from my eyes
The depth of his own
What's left inside my heart
Beauty I've never known

Purple
The spots that dot my body
The strength of his arrogance
The veins of the naughty
His lies' and tries' sense *

Black
The dark, the bad
The color of my eyes
The faded, the dead
What's left of my life

* did this line make sense? (edit credit to Ave)

by **Avé** 4/29/2010, 9:14 pm

This is really beautiful, Cyn. (':

As for the line you were talking about... well, I can't say it makes perfect sense. What about using the word "sense" instead?

by **Cyn431** 4/29/2010, 9:24 pm

Thanks.

Okai. =] Thanks for the feedback, I'll try to find a way to make that fit in. (See, I'm pretty sure hence can be used as the last word of a phrase, I'm just not sure how to do it in a way that's grammatically correct. xP)

by **Komoda** 4/29/2010, 10:15 pm

Whoa, this is amazing! ^^ Great job, Cyn. I think the purple verse is my favourite overall, but all of it's awesome.

by **Cyn431** 4/30/2010, 4:15 pm

Thanks Mo. Very Happy

Yeah, I like the purple part a lot too.

by **shadowsowner888** 4/30/2010, 5:26 pm

I love color poems so much. *-* You've done such a good job! I love how the black stanza starts fading away, and the blue stanza was so beautiful and perfect and sad.

And I think the line makes sense. :3