dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

by **Avé** 5/10/2010, 2:18 am

LEAD ME HOME, DEAR

Mm. It's Mello and it's Matt. Yum. <3

There's a big difference between death threats and love letters–even if the person writing the death threats still claims to actually love you. Of course, considering I once tried to kill someone I loved, maybe I had no right to judge.

Quoting Spirit Bound? Apparently so. It comes out May 18th and I can't wait. If you've never read the Vampire Academy series, then I recommend them - they're amazing. Which reminds me of how awesome I just realized Arielle is. XD She's pretty much the only person I've met on here who has read, or even heard of, for that matter, the series.

So. The cruise. It was really fun, actually. What disappointed me, though, was our waiter. See, you get the same waiter all three nights, and they're usually from around the world. Well, every time we've gone on this cruise, we've gotten a South African dude. Not that I have anything against them, but I seriously was hoping for either a Japanese or a German dude.

And guess who's waiter was South African?

-points to self-

But whatever. He was really nice and his name was Tumelo. ^_^

I feel like I give myself far too much to do... I'm in way too many private roleplays right now, so I reply really slowly and I'm sure I annoy everyone I'm involved in a roleplay with. I'll deal, though. Hopefully. I mean, I don't want to quit any of them, but what if I have to?

-shrug- I'll find a way.

So, in February, my dad took me to this barbecue type of thing for his company. A lot of people were there and all, and I volunteered at the snow cone stand with Forrey. We were working and then I look up and who do I see in line? Skylar - mentioned in previous blogs. I hadn't seen him in over a year, and oh god, he was even more beautiful than before.

I just had to say that. :/

The pathetic thing is, nothing is ever going to happen between us. I'm never going to see him again and even when I did see him every day, his stupid ex had her eyes on me every second of the day.

Oh, god, I hate that girl so much. Is it wrong to say that?

<rant>She's the kind of person that tells you at the beginnning of the year that she's really sorry for all that she's ever done to you. She says that she would love for the five of you to be friends again, so you decide to give it a try, and soon enough, she's pulling you apart just like before - she's the jealous type.

And what I really hate - and I know I've mentioned this before - is that I can't be myself around her. If I don't like screamo, I'm a conformist. If I do, I'm a poser. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with that situation?</rant>

Hmm... I feel like the expectations I set are far too high for me to reach.

But, then again, is it really that much to ask to be able to live a day without feeling worthless in the end?

She and all the others that I used to call my friends make me feel so unwanted, so replaced. I know that they don't need me anymore, and I know that it was my choice to leave, but they're the ones that practically forced me out. What else was I left to do?

And here's the part where I drown in self pity and ask myself what the heck I ever did to deserve this. And then I realize, yet again, that I'm not all that innocent.

I'm constantly comparing myself to others, trying to find the bad in them so I can reassure my insecure self.

Isn't that just life?

On a happier note, I just realized how much I appreciate Aubree's company. I really need to get her to join Twig... Still, I can just be myself around her. I don't feel the need to try to impress anyone with a long post or a fancy template. It's just roleplaying for pure enjoyment, and I really miss when I was able to do that all the time. Though I doubt you'll ever read this, you seriously mean a lot. MelloxLorcan and GriffinxLucindaxMatt forever, right?

Question time. Yaaaaay. :3

If you did listen to this song, do you like it?
Have you ever read/heard of Vampire Academy?
-pokes part about Aubree- Do you have a friend like that?
Who would you walk to the end of the earth for? (Random question, yes.)

yours & yours truly,
Ave

by **SaddleClub** 5/10/2010, 2:22 am

If you did listen to this song, do you like it? ~ It's 2:21am so that's a no on listening to the song xD
Have you ever read/heard of Vampire Academy? ~ I've heard of several vampire series. (one of which I'm considering reading) Which is the Vampire Academy?
-pokes part about Aubree- Do you have a friend like that? ~ Mhm. My best and only true friend.
Who would you walk to the end of the earth for? (Random question, yes.) ~ *shrugs*

by **Avé** 5/10/2010, 6:02 am

1. Understandable. xD
2. It's by Richelle Mead. It's really good, actually. It uses the traditional vampire species and what not. Smile

3. Awesome. :3

by **Noah the Flood** 5/10/2010, 10:25 am

If you did listen to this song, do you like it? Yes, its...odd. ANd I love it Very Happy

Have you ever read/heard of Vampire Academy? Yes, and I want to read them.
-pokes part about Aubree- Do you have a friend like that? Hmm...yesh. A couple actually.
Who would you walk to the end of the earth for? Hm...no one. I'm lazzyy. Lol xD I couldn't think of anyone, so thats my answer.

by DragonStar 5/10/2010, 11:59 am

If you did listen to this song, do you like it?
I freaking got you into the song. OF COURSE I LIKE IT.

Have you ever read/heard of Vampire Academy?
I've heard of it, but never read it.

-pokes part about Aubree- Do you have a friend like that?
I have several friends like that. c:

Who would you walk to the end of the earth for? (Random question, yes.)
Robyn, Kat, Karina, Kyra, Samuel... prolly Nesta, too, but I barely know him. XD

by **Avé** 5/10/2010, 4:32 pm

Noah -

1. Me too. :3
2. You should! Best series ever.
3. Awesome. ^^
4. Haha, nice. xD

Jaidis -

1. You know, that question was really about the Jem one. XD
2. Then you should read it. xP
3. Yay. :3
4. Sweet.

by **shadowsowner888** 5/10/2010, 10:15 pm

If you did listen to this song, do you like it? :3 I can't remember what I thought last time, but yush.
Have you ever read/heard of Vampire Academy? Heard of, but that's about it. xD
-pokes part about Aubree- Do you have a friend like that? YESYESYES. :3
Who would you walk to the end of the earth for? (Random question, yes.) KOMODA. Very Happy

Or at least to Canada for, so I could show up at her door in a lumberjack outfit and tell her I like my meat rawr.

by **Avé** 5/10/2010, 10:17 pm

1. Hehe, yay. Very Happy

2. Then you should reeeeead it!
3. I wonder who. -eye roll-
4. ... Sounds fun? xDD

by **SaddleClub** 5/10/2010, 10:37 pm

Ave:

1. Yeaaaah....xD
2. What's on the cover? Cuz I usually know books by their covers xD
3. Mhm

by **shadowsowner888** 5/10/2010, 11:44 pm

1. *starts humming it*
2. I really wanna, but my mom might be upset if she finds I decided to read yet another vampire book. *-* It's bad enough that I own The Zombie Survival Guide now . . .
3. What, it's not obvious? :O
4. Heck yes. nod

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dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

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Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall

Re: dear ave, count me in - it's time to make friends with the shadows on my wall