I just don't understand anything.

I don't. Ever. I'm so scared with my boy problems. I'm going into an emotional state of my life now. At least, thats what my therapist says. I can't stop crying anymore.....Daniel's all I think about and I want clarifacation. And I want the truth. From every single one of you guys on here that like me. Or dislike me.

What was your first impression of me?

That's all I really want to know. Because I'm sick of my parents bashing me about how I'm not a good person when I'm not. Because I know they're telling the truth. I'm sick of the way I act. I want some advice/areas of improvement and it's your task to help me (it's fine if you don't want to.)

My profile on there is pretty gothic. But it's also a little Irish.....I just logged back on for the first time.

I'm a very honest person, and though we've never really talked, you're probably not going to like what I have to say.

I went through a time period when I was depressed, right after I lost my sister. (Still working on getting over it, but I'm happier now) my therapist told me that wallowing in my own self-pity was the worst thing for me. Stop thinking about how you feel, how you're not a good person. Take yourself out of your head for 24 hours, and do something for someone else. For those 24 hours, go to a homeless shelter, feed someone, volunteer, anything. Sitting there and dissecting your feelings only makes you feel worse. Go do something for someone else.

When you help others, you can't help helping yourself.

We don't have anything to volunteer for, or let alone even a homeless shelter.....yeah, I understand it and stuff because I think I've lost the brother I never knew.

I think what Miami means is that doing anything other than thinking about yourself is what will help you.

Yeah, adding to what Miami and Keri said, I have something that might help you. You said you have nowhere to volunteer, so maybe this will help; it's pretty much the same principle. Try doing one nice thing a day. It could be as simple as giving a compliment, or asking your parents how their day was. It'll make you feel great about yourself, knowing that you're helping others. You'll be surprised how doing something so simple could affect your entire day.

Ok....let me try then...how was y'all's day so far?

Okay.
I know we aren't like, thisclose or anything, but I've always thought you were cool. When you were Maine on WI, you were someone I wasn't close to because I felt like if I approached you, you wouldn't like me xD I don't think very highly of myself.

Wait-who were you on WI?

Honestly, my first impression of you was not to good. i think we kinda got off to a rough start though, and i understand that everyone has bad days, and i wont hold that against you. im sure that you are a wonderful person, and i just need to get to know you better.

so that was my first impression. but it can be changed...with effort from both of our standpoints lol

talk to someone who has a hard life. it totally makes you like... realize how great your life is, ( i hate to say this) compared to theirs. it really makes you not take anything for granted.
thats what happened to me anyways. i was starting to kinda... unwind and become stuck up until i talked to this kid who's summer had been *heck* and it totally helped me re-grip things.

hope this helped... and im sorry about what happened when we first met.

I was icecube730 on WI. I think we might've had a few general convos, maybe not?

I'm not sure....

Well, I've seen you before on WI, but never have we talked... I have no first impression until now... and it is that I do admire you for coming out about this. And not like going on Dr. Phil and living a drama, but not holing up in a lonely, dark ball of doom... it's a good sign that you've come out simply like this. It means that you have people to trust here. I know that they're only from the internet, but we're not virtual... we're real people who got together from across... places... who share common interests and the common interest to learn more interests. My base is on the fact that you need at least someone to lean on, someone to push your feelings on and know that they'll take them in and care for you forever, someone that you can care for too. You shouldn't have to search and settle for someone, and they shouldn't be throwing themselves onto you. It's a mutual thing. Just find out more about the people around you, everywhere- I can guarantee you'll be surprised with at least a few- and open yourself up a bit too. Balance, can't forget to not be too much or too little of an opened door. All I can offer is that therapy doesn't always work. I've never felt full when I went to my school counselors about things, when basically I just wanted to skip class and break down by myself after they leave the room. It feels, to me, like a fraud. These people are getting paid to help you. They will try to help you, yes, but their first priorities are helping the people that our paying them. Have you ever heard a counselor say anything but 'confront your tormentor with a polite but firm statement' or 'talk to an adult' or 'don't keep secrets'? I sure haven't. Some parents are helpful, some aren't. It depends on their personality, dependability, experience, history... I, for one, have a father who doesn't care to learn and he wouldn't care if he knew more, and a mother who keeps her feelings locked up and comes off as nice at first but when consolation, not repeated justified help, is needed, she's cold. Family can be just like parents, young or old. Caution is needed even with relatives on finding who to express yourself too. In my case, my family is practically not available in numerous ways and numerous reasons. So all I have are my friends. Well, there are also your types of friends- those who don't have the attention span, those who are too naiive to comprehend, those who are too self-centered... I can't list them all. THESE ARE NOT BAD FRIENDS. They can still be your friends... their just not the type I'd recommend to 'fess up too. The few people that I've had that could comfort me- those who had not only an upbeat and optimistic side, but a sensitive and compassionate side- well, I can still chat with one on the phone at some times, and I don't know what happened to another, the rest are long gone history... yeah. I have that one friend that can comfort me practically without conditions. My number one suggestion, a surprising one, would be online. Yes, online. I have a lot more friends online than offline; I think a lot of people who hang around these types of forums do as well. They've all seemed to be experienced and they care about you. It's not like they can judge you on your popularity or your looks or how you act in real life. I can be myself on forums and I can be happy. I'm not saying you should sit at a computer and chat for the rest of your existence, I'm saying that you shouldn't count them out. These people aren't paid to help you and they don't have to help you under any circumstances. If they're helping you, it's because they want to help you. It's a great feeling. So yeah, that's what I've got. I know you'll make it through, at least someday.