A Poem, A Story, and My Maturity. Let's see how this goes...

Hey guys!

I know I haven't blogged in, well, forever... Like, literally. It's been a few weeks I think. Which isn't good, seeing how TWIG is COMPLETELY CHANGING starting tomorrow and I forgot until, like, 5 minutes ago!!! I'm not one for change, but I think this will be for the better... (:

Anyways, a BUNCH of stuff has happened. To me, at least, I don't know about you. When you're finished reading, feel free to comment about anything that has happened in your life, if you wish. (: As a reminder, I'll leave it as one of the questions. No pressure, though. xD

Okay, so me and my 'dead' friend have been talking for a bit now. Yesterday Monique tried talking to him(since they've been having a rough time) and it ended with him saying 'you'll understand when you've matured' or something and she kind of exploded. And knowing me, I just HAD to get involved. Why miss out when I could cause additional drama, right? Actually, no, I just wanted to figure out what was going on because no one would tell me. So it ended with him flat-out telling me that I was immature and he wasn't and that when I was more mature or whatever I'd understand what he was saying. REALLY?

Sorry, but, that's not something you say to someone like me. I grew up raising myself, therefore I know myself better than anyone else (OMG - I just turn on my spell check and so far I've made no mistakes! Anyways, back to the point..). I honestly don't think I'm immature. I never really have been. Well... I've always been more mature than the people around me, if that counts. Sure, I know I still have some growing up to do but does that make me immature? I clearly know my rights and wrongs, I know my purpose in life, I've seen death in the face and I know how to remarkably clean my own wounds(emotionally... Not physically. Though, if I become a doctor I can do it physically too), and I realized that I'm much too deep, calm, and understanding to be immature. I'm modest too, aren't I? xP Anyways, feel free to leave a comment about this. I know a lot of you don't know me personally, but from what you've seen, like your first impression, could help A LOT.

I kind of understood, at the end, what he was talking about. And I just gave in, since I'm honestly deathly afraid of losing him again. Last night when I got back from my friend's party(will be talked about later) I fell asleep easily at midnight, but then at two in the morning had this horrible dream that he left again. It was either he died, for real, or that he didn't want to be around me. Something like that. Anyways, I woke up crying and couldn't get to sleep until 5 AM. I had camp at 9 the next day(today) -_-. So yeah... Talked to Mell about it. She thinks I shouldn't hang onto him that much, but I'm not sure if that's possible. Oh well...

So, last night I went to my friend's party. It was amazing, 3 out of 5 of my best friends were there, which was really cool, plus I met a lot of hot high school guys that I'll get to see next year (: What could go wrong, right? Well... One of my best friends, let's call her Maddie, got really close with a guy, let's call him Chad, and our over protective friend, let's call her Laurie, freaked out. She's the one who like screamed at us because we couldn't sleep over at her house because SHE was going on vacation, so it was our fault some how -_- Then she told us she was joking about it. Whatever. but this time she was serious. Anyways, my friend Maddie and Chad were in the pool and he was hugging her from behind, my other best friend and Maddie's practically ex boyfriend were doing the same(no worries, everything's fine between them!), and Laurie comes up to me and is like, "Hurry! You have to go and break them up! They can't be happy together, because I'm single. And if I'm miserable, so is everyone else!". I thought she was joking, but she really wasn't. So I said, "Uh, no. They're cute together. Why don't you go do it?" and she replied, "Um, why would I do it? I don't want to look like the mean one."

Thanks. It means A LOT to me -_-... She's always been like this. Then when the other couple(my best friend and the other guy) were on the couch cuddling she just glared at them and was like, "Emily, I think we should talk." Really, she's the kind of girl where if she gets in trouble, she makes up stuff so that her best friends get in trouble to. She really is nice some times, I mean she's one of my best friends, but Maddie and I both agreed that we're very relieved that she's going to a different high school. She's really stuck up, spoiled, and selfish, and it seems to be getting worse with age. Everyone changes in high school, mostly for the worse, and I would hate to see how she turned out.

Anyways, my other friend(let's call him David) was also at the party, but we didn't talk much. He kept looking at me, like he wanted to talk, but never got the nerve to. The party started at like 5 and ended at 11, so we definitely had a TON of fun. My mom drove me, David, my friend who got close to Maddie's ex kinda boyfriend, and this guy, let's call him Ben, home. The guys had a contest to see who could shout the loudest cuss word without getting caught. You'll understand in a few minute's how crazy my parent's have been. Luckily with my best friend(I'm sick of calling her the girl with maddie's ex kinda boyfriend, so I'll call her Cassandra), Cassandra, there to lie for me(she's like a pro liar), I got away with it. David was texting me that night and was like "I'm so sorry it'll never happen again!" so I forgave him xD It was really annoying thought. And it was really close to getting me grounded for like, Life!

Speaking of Cassandra and Ben, I saw them both today at camp. Band Camp. Whoopti Doo -_- (sorry for all of those in the band. I play the clarinet, but it's just not my thing)

To be continued later, since I'm going running now.

Sorry about that. Went running with a friend & caught up with some guy. Anyways, as I was saying...

Band Camp. Bleh. It just sounds gross to me, since I don't particularily like it. I mean it's not nerdy or anything, don't get me wrong, I just don't want to spend every friday and every day after school working on it. Besides, I don't even like playing the clarinet. So we get to stand for 9 hours and march outside(it's 93 degrees outside but since Florida is so humid it's equivilant to 110 degrees outside in other states) and then I got to go weight lifting. It was cool that I got to see a whole bunch of my friends, but I'm so tired and my legs are sore. I have band camp for the next two weeks, which is bound to be a disaster. Ugh. Then again, hopefully it will get better. I'd probably like it more if I wasn't forced by my parents to join it -_-. So yeah, I made a new friend at the party, whose good friends with Maddie, and then Maddie's best friend and I are now friends, since she does lacrosse conditioning with us.

About the story.... I don't know anymore, really. It's not like I have writer's block or anything, I just don't feel the need to write anymore, which really discourages me. Maybe I just need to get back into it or something, but after I write a few paragraphs I feel like I have to stop because I don't have enough time, or could be talking to someone, or something, which really bothers me because writing is my passion and I really could use the practice. But I don't know. All I know is that I need to find a way to like write. I have a lot of stories that I started and didn't finish, some of which I REALLY like the plot.

Speaking of which, my story, Hope, has a new chapter. It's kind of the turning point of the story, really, even though it's only Chapter 3. xD It's really surprising. At least I hope it is, because if not then I did a bad job (: I also need to work on The Garden of Alice. I have everything planned out, I just need to put it into motion. I'm finally almost done with all of my summer readings and stuff, which is a HUGE relief. I hate doing home work. Especially over the summer. Which reminds me, I'm hanging out with my best friend (let's call her Abbie), Abbie, Maddie, and the girl who we do lacrosse conditioning with and I'm starting to be better friend's with this weekend! We're sleeping over at Abbie's and making the mystery girl's pasta recipe(it's dieting. We have to stay in shape for Lacrosse!) which reminds me. Imaging running 3 MILES outside. On huge stacked together bleaches. IN FLORIDA. It's awful. But I felt so good after wards (: Doing Lacrosse is definitely one of my better decisions.

I realized I'm not going to be able to complete my TSW goal, so I may shorten it a bit. I never thought that I'd be so busy over the summer! Plus, I haven't gotten much writing in, though I was planning on 5,000 words a day. So much for that goal :\ But maybe if I work super, super, hard, I could get it done. I really want to, I promised myself that I'd finish it Dx I'm guessing now is a good time to start updating all of my stories, huh? I'll start working on that, starting tonight. I really don't like how I started a lot of them off though, so I may rewrite them before that. Maybe not. Who knows?

Also, on the Friday before school starts(two weeks after this Friday ) I'm going to the beach and get to bring Cassandra, Maddie, and Laurie to the beach and then they get to sleepover! Hopefully no drama will break out between then and now. But still, I can't wait!!! (: I have a friend's party to go to this Thursday, but I don't think I will. It's a midnight premiere of Dinner for Schmucks or something, which means I'd get home at 2:30 and hopefully get to bed at like 3:00 am and I'd STILL have camp in the morning. Bleh, doesn't sound good to me(though I still would've gotten more sleep than last night). Plus, Maddie says she probably couldn't go since she would have a volleyball game that night, so it would be kinda weird anyways. My friend from band would be there, but I'm not sure if it's worth it. Guess I'll have to think about that one.

Anyways, other than my first kiss (WHICH WILL HAPPEN MY FRESHMAN YEAR!!!) my life is pretty great, believe it or not. I'm rushing this because I want to go and talk to my 'dead' friend. xD I know, I'm pathetic. *sigh*... (: Oooh right, I almost forgot! Monique and I slept over at Cassandra's house a few days ago. It was AMAZING! We snuck out and hung out with people and everything! xD Such a rebel. Just kidding, I'm like the exact opposite (:

Wait,, I remembered more to add...

My parents are crazy. Like literally, insane, bonkers, shouldn't be parents, crazy. My moms freaking out about little stupid things and grounding me for it. Then I got home from lacrosse conditioning last Wednesday, after we did the bleachers was EXHAUSTING and she starts yelling at me about my summer home work. All I had to do was write one paragraph and she said I couldn't shower or get on my phone or computer until I did. Like, she even took my phone away. So, I finally finished after a few minutes and my dad walks in and guess what he did? He drops dog crap over what I just wrote and a whole page worth of writing(which I had just rewritten to make my hand writing better). Literally, he dropped dog crap on it. Apparently the dogs pooped in his office and he thought I left the office door open. I DIDN'T! Then my mom threw a clicker at me because I asked if I had to turn the music down, since it really wasn't that loud, and my dad threw a phone at me and cussed at me with a very large vocabulary because I told him my mom was on the phone and wanted to talk to him. Oh, yesterday before the party my mom also kicked me out of the house because she said I was in trouble for not letting her drive me to the party. She wanted to drive me because she thought I was going to run off and sneak off somewhere else. My parent's don't even have a reason to not trust me this much. It isn't fair...

So yeah, that's it. I knew I was supposed to add something here... Oh right, the poem. I want to write a poem and I know what it's about, I just need to get my writing streak back. So wish me luck and expect something up within the next few days! Thank you everyone very much for voting I'll Always Live For You for the poem of the month, it means so much to me (:

QUESTIONS
1. Has anything happened this week that you'd like to share or talk about?
2. Have you ever felt no need to write?
3. When's the last time you wrote a poem?