Re: Hallelujah *Not finished* Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

by **shadowsowner888** 9/21/2009, 3:51 pm

That's okay! x3 I can't wait until you can post more.

by twilighter3000 9/22/2009, 4:36 pm

Me too, lol!

by twilighter3000 9/26/2009, 2:32 pm

I finally have some time to write some more of my story! I'll try to post more in a little bit!

by twilighter3000 9/26/2009, 3:04 pm

Friends Who Sweat Together Stay Together

Slap! With a loud smacking sound the volleyball hit the inside of my forearms, going straight forward and hitting Madison Hilliard in he back.
“Owww!” Madison screamed, turning to me accusingly.
“Sorry Madison! It was an accident!” I said apologetically, rubbing my throbbing red arms.
Of course we’d had to start out our gym units with volleyball, which was definitely not my forte in sports.
“Good try Lizzie.” Luke said smiling at me from the other side of the net. I had forgotten to warn him about me being athletically challenged, especially in sports like volleyball and softball, which, unfortunately, we had to do for our first 2 units.
He’d caught on pretty fast though when it was my turn to serve, and almost our whole entire team groaned. I’d attempted to serve and the ball flew straight into the net, and from then on, Luke knew why no one passed me the ball.
Alyssa Snyder, the captain of the school volleyball team, dived in front of me to get the ball as the other team targeted our weak spot again---Me. With hardly a sound the ball flew over the net, scoring us a point, as the other team wasn’t expecting it to actually come back over from my spot.
Smirking at me, Alyssa turned around and headed back to her usual spot about 10 feet to the left of where I was standing.
I sighed, turning around to see how much time there was left of this torturous class. Then, Luke yelled, “Lizzie, ball!” And I whipped back around just in time to get nailed in the face with a ball from one of Alyssa’s volleyball friends that had to be coming at least at 20 miles an hour. I shrieked, falling back on my butt, holding my nose. Tears filled my eyes, and I struggled to hold them back.
Luke came running over, with Madison and a few other people following him.
“Lizzie, are you okay?” Madison asked in a genuinely concerned voice.
“I don’t know.” I said, and cried out; speaking made the pain in my nose worse.
Tears began rolling down my face, and Luke scooped me up in his arms with a soft grunt and quickly jogged over to the gym teacher’s office.
“Mrs. _____?” Luke said.
“What—Oh Lizzie, what happened this time?” Mrs. _____ said sighing.
Luke gently pulled my hand away from my nose and I whimpered.
“Volleyball to the face?” Mrs. _____ said sympathetically.
I nodded, gesturing for Luke to put me down.
“Let me see honey.”
Mrs. _____ drew closer until I could see every pore and zit on her face, and gently prodded my nose. I screamed, pulling away and stumbling into Luke, who was still standing right behind me.
“I’m sorry sweetie, I had to check.” Mrs. _____ said apologetically.
“It seems like you might have a break, because that can happen sometimes if it hits it just the right way…” Mrs. _____ trailed off, writing a note for me to get checked out by our school nurse.
I sniffled, and winced again. Luke grabbed a tissue out of the Kleenex box on Mrs. _____’s desk, and handed it to me.
I cautiously wiped my face free of tears, taking care not to go anywhere near my nose---I’d just have live with the slime coming out of it.
“Here you go darling, just go straight to the nurse’s office.” Mrs. ____ said, handing me a yellow slip of paper.
I glanced at Luke, and Mrs. _____ quickly said, “oh, and you can bring your new friend too.”
I sighed with relief, I didn’t want to have to go alone.
“Sure, I’ll go with Lizzie to the nurse’s office.” Luke said, wiping away a tear I missed with his finger, then gesturing for me to walk out back into the gym. I blanched, not wanting to have to go back in there and have everyone staring at me.
“It’ll be okay Lizzie, everyone thinks you’re incredibly brave for trying to hold back the tears, I could tell by their faces.”
I took a deep breath through my mouth, blinked back tears, and walked back out into the gym with my head held high. Luke stayed right behind me the whole time until we reached the door, which he opened for me as we quickly walked towards the nurse’s office.
The door was open, and I walked in hesitantly. I had never been in this particular room before, always being the cautious, safe one who never got hurt.
Mrs. ______, our nurse, had a separate little office off the big room where you first walked in, and I knocked on the door. Mrs. _____ opened the door, taking in my hand, which I had placed back over my nose, and my red eyes.
“Now what happened here?” She asked brusquely.
“Mrs. _____ thinks I broke my nose.” I said, my voice coming out more nasally than usual.
“Well, let’s take a look then.” Mrs. ______ said, using one hand to lead me to the _______.
Luke stood hesitantly by the door as I sat down on the crackling paper.
“Come in boy, I’m not going to strip her down or anything. Though I bet you wish that I would, now wouldn’t you?” Mrs. _____ said, not taking her eyes off my nose.
Luke blushed a deep red, and stuttered, “n-no, we’re just friends, just friends.”
Ignoring Luke as he continued to stutter while walking over to the extra chair in the room, Mrs. _____ wiggled my nose with her fingers, and I whimpered as fresh tears began rolling down my face again.
“Now, now, toughen up, it’s just an injury. Just call your parents to have you get picked up, and they can drive you to the hospital to confirm whether or not it’s a break.”
“And you there!” Mrs. _____ barked. “Get an ice pack from the freezer, and get to it!”
Luke quickly got up, jogging over to the freezer.
“Hold this to your nose on the way to the hospital, it should help the swelling go down.” Mrs._____ said, snatching the ice pack from Luke and shoving it into my hand.
I nodded, and carefully let myself off the ______, trying not to jostle my nose. I said a small, “thanks,” and walked back out the door, with Luke trailing behind me.
Luke glanced back to make sure we were out of hearing distance, then said, “wow, so much for nurses being kind and understanding, that one reminds me of my old football coach!”
I half smiled, then paled when a sharp pain went through my nose.
“Oww, no more being funny today, okay Luke?” I said, patting his arm to let him know I was joking. “It hurts to smile.”
“Sorry.” Luke said.
“How bad does it hurt?” Luke said in a low voice as we walked past some freshman classes.
“Pretty bad, but I’m fine.” I said, trying to put on a brave front.
“Well, you’ll be able to get out of gym for a while now.” Luke said smiling.
“Yeah,” I sighed, “but I think I would have chosen gym over this.” I said, gesturing towards my nose with the hand not holding the ice pack.
I walked into the office with Luke and called my mom using the office phone. Of course as soon as I mentioned her coming to get me, she began firing questions at me like Steph’s little brother’s water gun. Was I okay? What happened? Would I be able to walk anymore? Was I sick?
I told her it wasn’t life threatening or anything, but I needed her to drive me to the hospital to get my nose checked out, and that Mrs. ____, our nurse, thought it might be broken. She told me she’d be there as soon as she could, and told me everything would be fine.
I put the phone back on the receiver and turned around to tell the secretary that my mom would be here in about 10 minutes.
“Okay sweetie, just sit down in one of those chairs and relax, I’ll email your gym teacher to let her know that your mom’s picking you up.”
Luke, who had been quietly standing off to the side by the door, spoke up, saying, “that’s fine Mrs. ______, I’m going back to the gym after this to change, so I can tell her that Lizzie’s leaving.”
“Thank you dear.” Mrs. ______ said, smiling at him. “You may go back to class now, Lizzie will be fine.”
Luke looked at me, and I nodded, my lips turning up on the sides just a little, letting him know I’d be fine waiting alone.
“Bye Lizzie, hope you feel better later.” Luke said, turning to go back out the office doors.
“Thanks.” I said quietly, and sat there staring at the blank walls, waiting for my mom to arrive.

Whatdya think? It's my first writing I've done since my horrible, month-long writer's block, so I hope it's good!

by **shadowsowner888** 9/27/2009, 9:27 am

Awesome job! Smile

I really liked that chapter! It seemed kinda melodramatic when she screamed, though, lol - since I'm picturing it as, like, screaming like you just got attacked by a bear. Maybe you could say something about that, like, "she let out a shriek of pain," instead of just "she screamed"? It's up to you, though, and idk if other people even think of it like that. xD My brain has been known to work weird.

by twilighter3000 9/27/2009, 11:27 am

Yeah, when I have time I'm gonna look up stuff about broken noses so I can make it seem more realistic and know how long she'd have to stay home and stuff...

by **shadowsowner888** 9/27/2009, 11:31 am

Cool.

Actually, my mom had a broken nose once, so I could ask her about that for you if you want? Like right now, seriously. xD

by twilighter3000 9/27/2009, 12:33 pm

lol, that would be great! [Not the broken nose part, you asking her!]

by twilighter3000 9/27/2009, 4:12 pm

The rest of chapter 9 is up! And guess what? I have 10, 796 words so far---And it's only the first day! lol!

by **rattyjol** 9/27/2009, 7:14 pm

Wow, awesome! cheesy

“Come in boy, I’m not going to strip her down or anything. Though I bet you wish that I would, now wouldn’t you?” Mrs. _____ said, not taking her eyes off my nose.
Luke blushed a deep red, and stuttered, “n-no, we’re just friends, just friends.”

by **Nightowl** 9/27/2009, 9:26 pm

That was really good Danielle, especially since you've had WB for a while! Smile

by Lyssa45 9/27/2009, 11:09 pm

Ahh, it's about time you broke free of your Writer's Block. Wonderful chapter; I really liked it!! Smile

by twilighter3000 9/28/2009, 6:07 am

Thanks guys!

by **shadowsowner888** 9/28/2009, 10:53 am

I'll ask her as soon as she's up, then . . . haha, I was kinda waiting for you to say so, so I didn't have a chance to yesterday, really. ^^'

Awesomeness! That was a funny part, the part Ratty quoted. xD

by twilighter3000 9/29/2009, 6:11 am

kk, thanks Shadz!

lol, that was the point, and I'm glad it worked! Thanks guys!

by **shadowsowner888** 9/29/2009, 4:05 pm

Welcomes!

So I just asked my mom. nod

It happened when she was skiing; they threw her the handle, but it hit her in the nose because she wasn't paying attention. It bled a little bit, and was hurting, but she kept skiing anyway. So they took her to the ER, and x-rayed it, and they determined it was broken. (She said to take note that it's not actually a bone, but cartilage.) It was going to be a few days before she was actually home, though, so they told her to check it out with her doctor when she was back, and they warned her that it'd probably swell.

So then when they took her in again, the anesthetized her, put the nose in place, and stuffed a bunch of gauze up in it. Then they sent her home. She was bruised all in that area, like under her eyes and on the top of her nose, and my mom just went to sleep. When she woke up it hurt, so her mom gave her meds to kill the pain. It was valium. And that stuff's addictive. She didn't get addicted, but she was kinda loopy when she woke up again. So they took her off the valium and put her on excedrin, she thinks it was. And then, she doesn't remember how long it took (I'd guess a few weeks), but then they took her in when it was healed, and pulled out all the gauze. It was a lot; like, ya know how your intestines are all bunched up, so they'd be really long stretched out? That's what it was like with the gauze. xD She was shocked by how much it was. And that's it!

by Lyssa45 9/29/2009, 4:41 pm

Ahh, lovely story there Shad! Razz

xDD I'm glad your mom's alright though!! Smile

by **shadowsowner888** 9/29/2009, 5:44 pm

Yeah, that was years ago. xD

by twilighter3000 9/30/2009, 7:49 pm

Thanks Shadz! I'll try to work that in when I write more!

by **shadowsowner888** 10/1/2009, 6:17 pm

No prob.

by twilighter3000 10/2/2009, 9:18 pm

*Sigh* I probably won't get time to write any more this weekend cuz I have a soccer game tomorrow, then my friend's coming over, and on Sunday I'm going to the mall with a friend, then studying for my American Government test...

by **shadowsowner888** 10/3/2009, 12:02 pm

Aww. xP That's okay, I guess!

by twilighter3000 10/3/2009, 4:57 pm

Yeah... I'm home now, [obvi] cuz I didn't end up hanging with a friend cuz I'm cold and wet from soccer, but IDR feel like writing right now---Maybe later.

by catbuster 10/14/2009, 4:20 pm

I love it please write more soon!

by twilighter3000 10/22/2009, 5:45 pm

Thanks! I will when I can, but IDK when that will be...

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Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

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Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

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Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

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Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

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Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

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Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

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Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!