Critique my prologue? x3

Woot! Thanks for even reading this. Well, basically, I'd like a critique of my prologue. xD Some of you may have already read this, so opinions as to which version was better (orginal vs. this) are appreciated. And besides that, I want your completely honest opinions on the quality of this altogether. If you could go through and point out things you did and didn't like, mistakes I made, things I definitely should keep the same . . . stuff like that. I appreciate it!

Btw, if you hate it, I won't be mad. x3 Just say so.

“Come, we must hurry,” the she-dragon spoke. She was an unusual silver color; her scales shimmered like the night sky, the lights’ reflections dancing around the building. She rushed in a graceful trot through the shady, golden palace halls. Most of the palace was made of marble, but the floor was something different, a reddish-brown wood unfamiliar to many - a wood so strong it could withstand against thousands of dragon claws without showing a single blemish.

“Before it’s too late,” the other dragon agreed, as they passed floridly carved door after floridly carved door. This one was a brick-like red color; he was sturdy, muscular, and strong, nearly the exact opposite of the delicate, lean female.

Finally, they reached the end of the hallway, stopping before the entrance to the throne room. It was easily identifiable, thanks to its unique doorway - an open archway, as opposed to one with doors barring it. The dragons cautiously paced forward into the room, suddenly less confident than before.

“King Ferlon.” The silver dragon, shivering with breathlessness, dipped her head to the ancient man. The red dragon mimicked her nod, standing beside her as he panted quietly.

“Aezamien. Adrekin.” Ferlon calmly rubbed his chin with a hand so knobby it was almost a tree. He was very old; his wrinkles were scars of wisdom etched into his noble face. Ferlon, through several trying years of experience, had come to know much. In a kind voice, the king continued, “What are you doing here?”

The dragons glanced at each other. “Your majesty,” the red dragon, Adrekin, said slowly, choosing his words with a careful sensitivity, “It is about Altarra.”

Ferlon opened his eyes wide, alarm filling his face to the brim. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Aezamien spoke with assurance. “It is just . . . she has grown. It won’t be long before she has aged enough to discover the truth.”

Ferlon wearily closed his eyes to think. After a moment he made up his mind. “Watch her,” the king ordered. “Make sure that the Viroxians do not harm her. For she is the only way this planet will survive. You must protect her - but remember to stay hidden. It won’t take much for the Viroxians to forget their mission and go after you.”

“We’ll do our best,” Aezamien replied loyally, nodding once in response to his order. She and Adrekin left the palace, relieved that the king had resolved this for the moment; but they pondered their order.

“Now what?” the silver dragon gently asked her mate once they were outside. This was confusing, and she wanted to be sure they’d make the right choice - and she trusted that if anyone made the right choice, he would.

“We do the only thing we can do,” Adrekin said firmly; it was plain that there was no easier option. “We go back to the Second Kingdom.”

Aezamien sighed sorrowfully. “I never feel safe there, not even in the forest of Bergonia,” she admitted. “And you know how well it hides us.”

“Don’t worry,” Adrekin said, nuzzling Aezamien soothingly. “I’ll watch out for you.”

She softly replied, “I know you will,” blinking gratefully at him, but not smiling. This was too serious a moment for that. The dragons took flight, soaring out across the gates of Xanadu, and into the unknowns of the Bergonian Forest . . . and the Second Kingdom.

This is the Dragon Soul prologue, isn't it? I recognize it... I like this version better though. Something about the writing style... makes it seem more... elegant.

Yep! xD Haha, I was trying to be subtle about it, even though it was obvious. And thanks! I've edited the prologue so many times, seriously, and after the rewrite it got a lot more detailed. xD So maybe that's what made it so different. (And of course I was trying to make it flow better, too. Lawl.) The detail isn't too much, is it?

Awesome. Thanks!!

This is a story I had posted on WI, but the thread closed. xD But this is what I talk about when I say 'my novel,' cus it's the one I'm trying to publish and all that stuff. Which is why I'm never gonna end up posting the whole thing, cus like Dream, I worry about plagiarism.

That's actually what I liked the most--the amount of details you used.

Yay!! That makes me more confident about it. xD I was worried I was going overboard.

I should really share stuff more often. xD

Indeed you should.

It's great! The only thing that I thought might want to be thought about was...
In paragraph two, "as they passed floridly carved door after floridly carved door." I sort of think that perhaps removing the second "floridly carved" would make it more easy to read.
Other than that, I love it!

It's good.

Thanks guys! And thanks for saying so, Arianna! x3 I'll transfer your comment to the other computer so I can take another look at that part when I edit the prologue again.

Thanks!!

Hmm, I shall keep that in mind. Next time I go over the prologue, I'll see how that'll work out.

Amazing. I can't think of anything to change at all.

Thanks!!