:: Ratty's randomly rattyful blog :: 1/31/10 ::

Today, I've found a new pass-time. Whenever a new student asks me where their class is, I say room 216. Our school is under construction; room 216 was torn down last year. MLIA

Today, my Dad told me that for my mom's 50th birthday we will be going to see the Mayan ruins. Her 50th birthday just so happens to be December 21st, 2012. Bring it on End of the World, bring it on. MLIA

Today, I was feeling like pranking someone, so I ran up to my brother and screamed, "YOUR EPIDERMIS IS SHOWING!" He said, "Holy, crap. Really?" and sprinted out of the room. I still can't find him, and I can't wait to tell him that epidermis is skin. MLIA

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on IM. He said he was going to take a shower, then four minutes later he comes back and messages me "We have a minor setback, I went to the bathroom but there's a spider in the bathtub so I gotta kill it" Then proceeded to go back and forth from the bathroom to his computer to keep me updated about the spider. He still hasn't taken a shower. MLIA

Mrs. Killkenny is my teachers name. My friend Kenny is very worried. MLIA

Today I called a computer repairman because my brand new computer wouldn't turn on, no matter what I tried. He arrived, took a brief look at it, shook his head, and said, "You have an ID10T error." Confused, I asked, "What does that mean?" He said, "Write it down and see what it looks like." He left and I wrote it down, noticing it looks a lot like "idiot". A few minutes later, I discovered that I didn't have the computer plugged in correctly. MLIA.

Today, after a big French exam, all of my thoughts were in French. I tried to stop it, so I listened to some songs in English. It didn’t work; I only ended up translating the songs into French. MVEM (Ma vie est de la moyenne).

Today I was at lunch with a bunch of seniors. We were trying to figure out what 8 times 7 was. Finally, someone said it was 56 because 5678, 56/7=8. I don't know what was funnier, the fact that they still use 2nd grade math tricks or that they were seniors. MLIA

My family just moved to a new house, my mom promised I could decorate my room any way I wanted. So my room is a completely white room and I have 5 packs of 120 packs of crayola crayons, today will be fun. MLIA

Today, I realized that my uncle is Santa Claus. The evidence? He's fat, has long white hair and a matching beard, his name is Nicholas, he owns a toy factory "up north", he has a strange fondness for little people, and he always has an excuse for why he can't visit for Christmas. MLIA

A while back my friend told me if you look at the elbow its impossible to miss a high 5. So we did it. I ended up slapping her in the face. MLIA.

Today, I was sitting in class, spacing out, and realized that I'd forgotten the requirements for the science lab due the next day. Naturally wanting to figure it out, I turned to the guy sitting next to me and asked him which science teacher he had. His reply? "We're in science..." MLIA

Today, I was putting on one of my favourite tops when I noticed a massive hole. I was really annoyed until I realised that it was just the sleeve. MLIA.

Today in class, I volunteered to answer a problem on the board. As I was writing, a random girl yelled out saying "Oh my gosh! You're left handed!?" I turned around to see it was my best friend since diapers. MLIA

Last year for Christmas, my aunt and uncle took my siblings and I on a little road trip for a night. We went to an amusement park and then went back to the hotel. My aunt and I had alaways had this dream to buy out a vending machine. That night, my aunt, uncle, sister, 2 brothers, and myself, split up into two teams and played ninja with $70 worth of quarters until 1:00 in the morning. We would go down the elevator, but go up the stairs with our loot so the cameras in the elevator wouldn't see us. We succesfully emptied the machine in two hours. That is so going on my next job application. MLIA

Today, while bored at the Mall, I pretended to be a mannaquin. This guy walked to me, trying to figure out if I was real or not. I then yelled, and he screamed and ran away. Laughing, I moved to another part of the store, and did the same thing. The same guy returned with a friend and tried to tell him I was real. I didn't move, so he got angry and pushed me over. I didn't do anything, and pretended to have been knocked unconscious when my head hid the floor. He freaked out, and tried to find a pulse. I then yelled and scared him again. He screamed swore at me, then left. The whole time me and his friend were cracking up laughing. We have a date for Tuesday. MLIA

Yesterday while on my way to bio class, I was distracted by a friend's question and walked straight into a trashcan in the hallway. Today on my way to bio I was telling another friend about this experience, got distracted again, and walked into the same trashcan. MLIA.

Today the first Harry Potter movie was on ABC Family. When Harry finally got his letter I burst out in sobs. My roommates came back an hour later, I was still crying. It took them twenty minutes to make out "I'm 20, I'm not getting my letter!" their only consolation was that "maybe your owl's retarded?" Thanks for trying, guys. MLIA

Today, I went onto Mystery Google, bored. I asked it what I should do and it told me to get on the floor. I did, just being stupid, and my mom burst through the door and shot where I had been sitting not five seconds earlier with NERF guns. She looked down, said "I trained you well.", nodded, and walked out. I'm afraid to go to sleep now. MLIA

Today, I was taking a personality test. It asked me if I was more decisive or indecisive. I couldn't decide. Then I had my answer. MLIA.

Today I was cleaning my room when my little sister knocks on my door and asks if I was there. I then replied in a low voice "No, it's Santa Claus". I heard her feet running away and thought nothing of it, until a few moments later when my door got kicked down and I see my little sister standing there with a giant Christmas list in her hands. Her face= PRICELESS. MLIA

For fun I typed "Who is hotter, Jacob Black or Edward Cullen?" into mystery google then I got: Squidward. I have to agree.

I've always read stories about people calling their dogs different names and them still responding on MLIA, so I decided to try it. Today, I learned that my four year old sister responds to Chuck, pancakes, Wobbufett and vaccuum. MLIA.

Today, I went to a pizza place. the tip jar read "Tipping: good for us, bad for cows." Touche, Hollywood Pizza, touche. MLIA

I am a third grade teacher and this week we were making turkeys with things we were thankful for written on the feathers. As one little boy turned his in I expected some generic responses like "My family" "My dog" But was surprised to find the turkey was dressed as Harry Potter, complete with lightning bolt scar and glasses with only one feather declaring how he was thankful for MLIA.com. This boys parents are raising him right. MLIA.

Today at lunch, my friend wasn't talking at all, which is unusual for her. I decided not to mention it. Suddenly, she jumped up and said "I remember!" and we all looked at her confused. She said "I was trying to remember this all day and I couldn't!" so we asked what she was trying to remember."My mom's name." MLIA

Yesterday, I was in my journalism class with nothing to do. I started to sing "The roof is on fire" and had just gotten to the end of the chorus when the fire alarm went off. I am now officially banned from singing in class. MLIA.

Today in my US History class, we were discussing the Holocaust and our teacher had decided to bring in a few Nazi relics to show us. Halfway through, we elected on kid to donn the Nazi uniform and barge in the room next door to interupt the English class that was in the midst of a dramatic reading of The Diary of Anne Frank. MLIA.

Now and then, I announce "I know you're listening" to empty rooms. If I'm wrong, no one knows. And if I'm right, maybe I just freaked the HEAVEN! out of some secret organization. MLIA

Today, I was at a Clinic getting my Swine Flu vaccine. I was nervous because I'm scared of needles, but then I looked over to see this big, burly looking police officer looking scared and holding a teddy bear. Glad to know these are the people protecting our city. MLIA

Today, the history teacher asked us, "What is the opposite of history?" The economics teacher, who also happened to be in the room, yelled out "Fun!" and fled the classroom as fast as he could. The class applauded. MLIA

About a year ago, my sister got a cat. Since then he's gotten big and fat. A few weeks ago she got a new puppy. Last night I saw the cat lounging on the couch, and when the puppy tried to sit next to him, the cat shoved him off the couch. Garfield moment, complete.

Today my family and I were on a road trip driving from Chicago to Boston. During the trip we played different car games to pass the time. One of the games we played was the slug bug game where if someone saw a different colored slug bug they shout out Slug Bug and then the color of the car. At one point I decided to be funny and yell out Slug Bug Invisible. My whole family in unison yelled out "WHERE?!" and looked out the window to try and find it. MLIA

Today I was walking past the Drama building in my university and heard someone screaming bloody murder. I am an army medic so I ran in to help, and found a large man in a pink rabbit costume being tickled by a small asain girl holding a giant tooth brush. I love my college. MLIA

The other day in my gym class, my class was standing around waiting for our teacher. I was talking to a bunch of friends, when out of nowhere, a junior runs over and throws me over his shoulder. He runs back to a group of juniors, then throws me to a guy I'm friends with. The junior class proceeded to play Hot Potato with me until their teacher yelled at them. Then they gave me back to my sophomore friends who continued the game. Gym class well spent? I do believe so. MLIA.

The other day my mom cacme home from the grocery store with 87 rolls of plastic wrap. Yesterday my friend and I decided to plastic wrap this kid's car. Today my mom freaked out because there were only 83 rolls. I asked her why she needed them. She said because she and my father were going to plastic wrap my mean neighbors house. How did she know she needed exactly 87? Apparently this has been done multiple times before.

Today, during homeroom, a boy was sitting in the corner, crying, because his girlfriend had just broken up with him. All the rest of the boys were crowded around him, comforting him. Meanwhile, the girls (myself included) were chasing each other around the classroom, playing a game of keep away with someone's pencil case. My teacher pointed out that we had it all backwards. Somehow, I liked it just the way it was. MLIA.

Yesterday, I was sitting in math class when the teacher was talking about how a teacher once got so mad he was throwing chairs at students. My teacher said the other teacher got fired a long time ago. Suddenly, a quiet girl in the back of the class lifts up her hand and says, "Sir, I heard that was you." Never have I seen anyone so red in my life. MLIA

Today, my mom, my 4-year-old brother Mark and I were looking at an old family photo. Mark asked why he wasn't in the picture. Mom pointed to her pregnant belly and explained, "Oh, you were still in my stomach then." A few minutes later, a visibly shaken Mark came to me and asked, "Why did Mom eat me?" MLIA

Today, I was buying a pack of peanuts, and when I got to the check out I asked just as a joke, "Does this contain nuts?" The cashier then read the back of the bag, and said "Apparently not, would you like a different bag of peanuts?" MLIA

Earlier this week, my math teacher was explaining to us how most humans only use a quarter of their total brain capacity. Without thinking, my classmate blundered, "Then what about the other quarter?"

Today in Science class, I noticed one of the popular girls had written 'Hi! This is Delaney's desk." I went over to the desk and wrote on the back, "Hello, Delaney. My name is Tom Riddle." Later that day as I was walking in the hall, I heard her say to her friends, "I swear! It was from He Who Must Not Be Named!" I will never stereotype again. MLIA

Today, my dad asked if I was alright. I told him that I was. He then says "I once thought I was alright, but then I realized I'm half left." I might not be saying I'm alright anymore. MLIA

Today, my friends invited me to a party and told me that my little brother could tag along if he'd like. My brother being a freshman and this being an upperclassmen party, I feared that it might get too inappropriate or wild for him. We ended up playing Apples to Apples and watching SpongeBob. MLIA

Yesterday my English class was watching the older Romeo and Juliet. It came to the part where you saw her naked and my teachers yells "Boys, look!" and throws a ball into the corner of the room. Every freshman boy in the class raced to the corner and fought over a stress ball. Mission accomplished, Mr. Kunkle. Mission accomplished. MLIA

Today, a boy in my class gave his cellphone to a quiet girl, pretending there was someone wanting to talk to her. Everyone started laughing as she said hello and got confused. She then said "Oh, you want me to through the phone out the window? but were 3 stories up! If you say so." and through it out the window. The look on the boys face. Priceless. MLIA.

Today, our school went into lock down and we had to turn off the lights and get on the floor. Everybody was worried about terrorists or a possible shooting - I looked out the window to see a 7 year old with a shovel being chased by 2 janiters. This made me realise how truly vulernable my school is. MLIA

Today we were taking a test in math class, and all I could hear was the sound of the ticking clock. So very quietly (or so I thought) I started singing, "Snape, snape, sevorous snape." I do this a few times, then my teacher comes up behind me a puts a sticky note on my desk saying, "DUMBLEDORE!" New favorite teacher? I think so. MLIA

Today, I discovered that if your soccer ball rolls across the street and gets stuck under a bus, you should not just assume it will make its own way out. It will in fact, stay stuck there as the bus drives off. Then the ball will pop causing a huge bang which halts traffic and causes the police to come running, guns drawn. It is however, quite funny. MLIA

Today, my 11 year old sister had a friend over, and the two of them were playing Trivial Pursuit. One of the questions was, 'Who was the first man to walk on the moon?' My sister's friend answered, 'Michael Jackson?' She was being completely serious. MLIA

A week ago, I moved into my new house with a few room mates. This being my first home away from home made me nervous about everything, mostly the neighborhood. I was walking to my new job today when I saw a guy dressed up as a ninja hiding behind a garbage can in an ally. The ninja looked at me and shhed me. Suddenly a pirate ran right past me yelling and flailing a fake sword, chasing the ninja into the ally. I heard a crash and a voice say "DAMMIT NEIL THAT HURT!" and the ninja ran out of the ally laughing. I think im gunna like my neighborhood. MLIA