Alexis's Freewrite
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Alexis's Freewrite
by ~>*Alexis*<~ 4/2/2010, 8:18 pm
I made this cause
1: I got bored.
2. I want to work on my writing technique. Feel free to give me any tips!
3. I need something to do when none of my friends are online and I am.
Maturity: PG.
Fantasy:Medium.
April 2~
1: I got bored.
2. I want to work on my writing technique. Feel free to give me any tips!
3. I need something to do when none of my friends are online and I am.
Maturity: PG.
Fantasy:Medium.
April 2~
- Spoiler:
- The cool breeze fluttered in from the open windows. It was pouring lightly outside, and it made a common rhythem. Drip,drop,drip,drop. A young girl sat there, staring at nothing, like a statue of some sort. You could tell she was listening intensley. It was strange for a child of her age to develope this type of behavior, mostly because this is what she does every morning, at percisely 7:00. "Angelina, darling!" A high pitched voice echoed through the wide hallways and into the room. The girl, Angelina, did nothing. The sound of heels clicking on the marble floors were becoming louder. A women walked in. She was about in her mid 30s had flowing light blonde hair in natural curls. Her dark, starling blue eyes seemed to burned right through Angelina's body. "Angelina Rosia Melendez, look at me this instant!" Black curly hair covered Angelina's face, making it hard to read her exspression. "Luanne...mother, leave now," Angelina responded calmly and firmly. Luanne's face turned red. " You are 12! I am your step-mother, and you'll do as I say!" There was no response.
Angelina Rosia Melendez stayed in the same position, even after her fusterated step-mother left to get Angelina's father. There was no exact reason why she was there, since Angelina herself didn't know. " What do you want?" she would often whisper. "Can I go with you?" The response? The sound of the wind whistling. Chloe Terria Melendez, her older sister, would observe her. And even she couldn't crack the code. Maybe somebody or some force was speaking to the young 12-year old girl. Trying to communicate. For some reason. But why Angelina, in particular.
On that paticular Sunday morning, however, everything was clearer to Angelina. "We need you," the mysterious voice murmered. "Why?" Angelina asked. "Angie, you are in danger. We are in danger." Angelina stood silent.
"Who are you?"
"Tranquility" The 'wind' answered.
"What are you?"
"Your friend"
"But, are you human?"
"Kinda."
"Then what are you?"
"Nature"
"What do you mean?" Angelina was getting tense. She wanted to know more about this 'danger' and who her mysterious friend was.
"You will find out."
Angelina felt her blood turn cold. 'Tranquility' spoke no longer. "Who were you talking to?" Chloe was standing at the doorway. "No one." Angelina lied to her older sister."I'll find out. I always do."
~>*Alexis*<~- Short Story Writer
-
Posts : 293
Join date : 2009-12-31
Age : 347
Re: Alexis's Freewrite
by shadowsowner888 4/3/2010, 5:44 pm
Woah. o.0 That's really good! The only advice I can offer right now would be to work on separating paragraphs in the proper places.
shadowsowner888- Admin
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Posts : 24391
Join date : 2009-06-08
Age : 29 -
Re: Alexis's Freewrite
by ~>*Alexis*<~ 4/3/2010, 7:05 pm
Thanks Shadow. I've also had that kind of problem but I'm working on it.
~>*Alexis*<~- Short Story Writer
- Posts : 293
Join date : 2009-12-31
Age : 347
Re: Alexis's Freewrite
by shadowsowner888 4/4/2010, 11:36 am
Yeah, it does take practice. ^^ You're doing really good as it is, though!
shadowsowner888- Admin
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Posts : 24391
Join date : 2009-06-08
Age : 29 -
Shadowlover2000- Novelette Scribe
- Posts : 900
Join date : 2010-02-26
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