I.LE.T.R.A.D. FILES

So I made this one book, it's called I.L.E.T.R.A.D. FILES: Shirley Smith. It turned out good, so I decided to make another, and another...
Soon it turned into a book series of I.L.E.T.R.A.D. FILES books. Here's what it's about:
I.L.E.T.R.A.D. is a special force that the army conceals. It's a combination of SWAT and Ground troops. The kids (kids as in 15-18) who are in this force are all prisoners. But with lots of training, patience, and expirience, they turn into an elite force that is practically invincible.
Tell me what you think of this idea. I'll post a few chapters of it here, and I need some advice.
Thanks,

I moved this since you don't have the actual story up yet. ^^; Hehe, sorry if I cause you any inconvenience.

I think it's a cool idea. I'm not usually into spy stories, so I'm not sure I'll be a very good follower compared to other people, but I'll most likely at least read the first chapter when you post it. ^^ What kind of advice are you looking for exactly?

Ooh, it seems good from what you told us.

Thanks. Advice is in if/when I post my story, I'd be looking for advice on things I could change in it. Sorry if it doesn't sound that interesting to you, Shadow, I try to make it exciting, but we'll see. I'm guessing I'll post the first chapter tomorrow (If I have the time, I'm goin' to a peep's house) and another chapter of my other story. So, stay tuned.

Don't worry about me, it's cool, not anybody's fault. :3 Just focus on making it the story you want it to be. My opinion isn't the world's - there'll doubtlessly be other people reading and enjoying the story, so I don't think you can really go wrong no matter what. ^^

Now this oneis older so plz don't make fun of any
Spelling,
Grammer,
Puncuation,
Or any other mistakes.

Great falls, USA
Friday, January 15, 2010
10:30 PM
Shirley slung her pick at the wall of ice. She guessed it was about 12:50. She glanced at her watch. Wrong, it was only 10:36. “Hmm, seems later than that.” Andrew heard her talking to herself and smirked. “Talking to yourself again, Hurly?” Shirley glared at him. “Go bother someone your own size, Drew.” The truth was, (the ugly truth in Drew’s eyes) that he was a little short. No one else in the camp was short; Even though Andrew was only three inches shorter than Shirley. This gave Shirley a chance to pick on him even more. They were kind-of competing. It was like Andrew knew he could earn the title of Captain before she could. So there they were, talking trash to each other and trying to distract each other. “Oh yeah? I could make it so that you’re my size.” He fumed. “Try it, buddy-boy.” Just then, Commander came out of the tent. He walked around for a bit, checking on everyone’s progress, then stopped at Shirley and Drew’s station. “Sup, Commander?” Drew said in a casual way. “A16, you will address me as Commander or Sir. Get back to work.” Drew turned red, and started again to hack at the ice. Commander walked on. Shirley sighed. She wished she could stand out to Commander. But it was as if Commander didn’t care less if she blew apart during a mission. And he probably wouldn’t. She felt as if she would never move from high-ranking officer to Captain. But of course, I.L.E.T.R.A.D. was not about standing out, or even getting ranks. It was about helping in life-or-death situations, to save the world. Andrew didn’t care about that, though. He just wanted to be loved, to be a hero.