The Heron Huntress(Chapter One up!)

by Erille 6/12/2010, 11:57 pm

The Heron Huntress

Chapter One: The Marshes

The thick smell of weeds and marsh grass floated up to Leticcie's beak. It infiltrated her senses and made her mind temporarily swim. The intoxicating smell could make anyone go a little crazy. especially so when you lived in the marshes. Leticcie's wings landed by her side as she flapped a few feet to the north. Behind her, in the tall weeds, not a noise was to be heard. The early dawn light always calmed Leticcie's nerves. For today, she would have to preform the worst of taskes.
To be a huntress was a lonely life, even in the Florida Everglades where life strived. The usual buzz and bustle of the insects and birds was absent in this early morning's light and Leticcie had to for a slight moment, look up to the sun and close her eyes. The sunlight pierced through her thin eyelids and the red light reached her retina.
Opening her sapphire blue eyes, Leticcie took in an intake of fresh breath just above the water. The smell of the fresh water mixed in from the delta's sea water made the nasty smell of the weeds and grasses go out of her nostrils. Leticcie waded in the short mangrove trees looking for signs of the small fish that sheltered their. Finding a small baby bass, Leticcie darted her long beak into the water and caught it in the pointed tip of her beak. She lifted her head and threw the bass a few inches in the air until it was straight. Making the head go down first so that the fish's scales wouldn't rip Leticcie's inner neck, Leticcie made the fish go down her long neck.
Having been fed for the first time in four days, the heron walked off from the shallow roots of the mangroves to report to Allitrat.
As she walked, the sun climbed higher above the huntress's head. The fish retreated to their holes to hide from the sun into cooler waters. Alligators started to come out and basked in the sun's late light that came from it's noon position in the sky. The other birds were strutting high in the sky, with swords at crossbows at their sides. Leticcie scoffed at the other birds. They thought nothing could touch them. Just because they could fly higher then the native herons thye thought they were kings and queens. And they were.
For in that small group of ospreys' that had flown over Leticcie's head were the Royal's. They were the special-born birds that had invaded Florida's marshlands and decided they should rule over the other birds. And also in the small group of orpreys' just happened the be the Princess Diana. she was next in line for the throne and leticcie hated the girl.
She was stuck-up and snotty and always had a parage of servants around her, just in case she needed anything.

by **shadowsowner888** 6/13/2010, 8:00 pm

I really like this. :O The whole idea of personified animals is really cool, so I'm gonna be enjoying this one!

And if you wanna see a little bit of constructive criticism, keep reading. Now, it's not anything that's really gonna make or break the book, but keep in mind how many times you're using Leticcie's name as opposed to a pronoun in its place. It might be your personal style to use it this way, whereas mine is to use it a little less, but either way just take a look at that and see what you think. nod

The Heron Huntress(Chapter One up!)

The Heron Huntress(Chapter One up!)

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