Autumn Rising

Maturity: Blood, occasional swearing, SPA [Showing of public affection], having babies [not detailed], becoming bf/gf
Fantasy: Humans can't talk to animals. And houses arent possesed with power.

Prologue

A girl of about 12 sat shivering on hard concrete. She was bleeding from many scratches, and her face was blood and tear stained.
"Well you little rat, you little lazy kid! What do you have to say for yourself," sneered a dark figure standing over her.
"I'm s-s-s-sorry father! I-it won't happen again," she cried tearfully.
The man smiled. "Good. Now get inside the house!" and he kicked her away.
The girl scrambled to her feet, her father's words ringing inside of her head. 'You'll do something soon, Autumn,' her head told her. 'Or someone else will...'

Chapter one

I sat in boring old class, swinging my boring old legs in my boring old chair. Enough repeating, let’s get to the story! My eyes were half-closed with boredness. Math was definitely NOT my favorite subject. To top it all off, the teacher was watching with eyes sharp as eagles. When her head was turned, I made weird faces at her, sometimes curling my lips in a snarl, which usually freaked most bystanders out.

“Now children, please do problems 1-5,” the teacher yipped in her high strung voice. I scribbled down the problems with ease, although my eyes and mind were focused on a different subject altogether.

It was Autumn, one of my life long enemies and the direction of mine and Kayla’s scornful jokes and sneers. Today, though, something clicked inside.

Today she walked inside of class with her green eyes lowered, not held high like usual. Her face had tear stains on them, and her legs and arms were bruised. When the kids asked, all she answered was “I fell down the stairs and hurt myself.” That felt like the festering feeling of a lie.

Most of all, she was reeking with the scent of blood. And the scent of blood triggers the animal inside of me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no vampire, but a test gone wrong on me years ago in a science lab brought animal DNA into me, so the smell of blood triggers that DNA saying “Lunchtime!” I glanced around to make sure nobody was watching, then pulled tape out of my desk. Hoping I'd go unnoticed, I used several of the sticky strips to trap my hands against the smooth wood of the desk. Let's pray for Autumn that this can keep me under control, I thought, grimacing inwardly. I probably wouldn’t have cared if I killed and ate Autumn, but the court of law would. Still, seeing what I saw of her that day, I knew that I was going to figure out what was wrong.

Good start! Remember the Maturity and Fantasy ratings!

Awesome so far.

Like I said before, good start!

As well as, thank you for putting the Maturity and Fantasy ratings! (:

Great job so far!

Thanks peeps

Fantastic job so far!

Thank you, shad. :3

Coolio!

Thanks. I'm writing the first chapter, but it might not be up until tomorrow morning or tomorrow afternoon.

CHAPTER ONE WILL BE UP THIS AFTERNOON! LOOK FOR IT!

Added chapter one!

Awww. Poor Autumn.

Nice job! I liked this chapter; it had a lot of emotion. In the last paragraph, though, can I suggest that when you revise this, you make sure you're showing, rather than telling? Like, maybe you could give her a flashback of the 'test gone wrong,' while adding something like this: "I glanced around to make sure nobody was watching, then pulled tape out of my desk. Hoping I'd go unnoticed, I used several of the sticky strips to trap my hands against the smooth wood of the desk. Let's pray for Autumn that this can keep me under control, I thought, grimacing inwardly." Just to get the readers feeling more like they're actually in the scene, rather than watching it.

Tank you shadow.

Nice, I really like the first chapter.

Excellent! I like it so far! Very intriguing.

Thanks people...