I think my story is cliched and has no direction at all.

OK. Here's the gist of my story: A fifteen-year-old deformed Russian boy escapes the circus he's spent the last few years in and winds up in the care of an American doctor and his three adopted Mexican children that he's brought back from Mexico after the Mexican-American war. The boy, Alexi Ivanov tries to get his money back from the circus leader in his quest to go back to his home country. Meanwhile, he develops romantic feelings for the Mexican girl, Amelia, who's his age and sinister forces are at work to keep forever, and they'll do it through the youngest of the children.

So basically, we have a deformed boy, a circus leader, romancing a woman of ethnic origins and the boy wants to go back to his homecountry. Even if I made the circus leader be a victim in this plot, I just feel it's still a bit cliched. Heck, I may as well throw in an American to get popped off as a way of showing the Mexican children who saw their country invaded by the US four years ago that not all Americans are bad people to cap it off. (I'm an American, btw.)

Also, there's no direction I can think up of. Sinister people want to stop Alexi from romancing the girl and going back to Russia. Why? Gold? Jealousy? Also, the only reason I have them use the youngest Mexican child (Diego) is...I don't know. In fact, how can I make it plausible that Diego would want to deliever Alexi to his enemies if in my head he really likes the kid?

I want the story to examine both Alexi's story and the story of the Mexican children, how they feel about having to live under the care of a man who was part of the army that invaded their country. I know this concept has so much potential but I feel that so far, it's shaping up to be yet another cliched romance novel.

HELP!!! D=

First of all, I don't find it cliched. That could just be because I haven't read enough or whatever, but it really sounds like an original idea. :3

Second of all . . . ough. I see what you mean about their actions not making sense, because I have that problem a lot in my own stories. Sometimes the only thing you can do is rewrite it, either managing to find a really good reason or just totally changing the situation so there doesn't have to be a reason. My opinion is that, the harder it is to find a reason, the better off you'd be changing the situation itself a bit. You don't have to totally change it, just change it enough so it's not illogical. Ya know?

Agreed.

I really have no clue what the situation is, to be honest. Maybe I should just go to the basics and figure out what Alexi wants, what the children want and just go from there. As of now, it seems like the only reason is: "Alexi is ugly! Let's go ruin him!"

Yeah, that'd be helpful too. The more you understand your characters the better. Doing character development questions can help; I know there was a thread around here somewhere with a whole ton. XD

That sounds very intersting. Where can I find it?

Ahh, here you go. :3

https://shadowsowner888.forumotion.net/writing-help-and-resources-f30/character-development-t171.htm?highlight=character+development

Thank you!

I think the key here is not Alexi, but the Mexican children. Their lives were torn up in the Mexican-American war and they have no idea where their family is and this American is raising them as his own children and he thinks he\'s saved them and makes sure he lets the other guests know he saved them.

If someone came to them and said, \"We know where to find xyz and how to bring you back to him/her but first, you must do something for us...\" then it would be a good incentive.

You're very close, Cyn. It takes place in America four years after the war ended.

But now that you said it, it may just work. The war with Mexico was a hot topic before the Civil War broke out. People might be suspicious of this American doctor hanging out with three Mexican children and when Alexi enters, some other veterans may assume he's of Mexican ethnicity and perhaps even assume the doctor's spying for Mexico in an effort to start the war up again. (This would probably be the case if the doctor had been known to enjoy Mexican culture while he was serving in the war by way of singing their songs and stuff.) So they could try and use Alexi as a way of getting the doctor to confess his deeds.

I could also pull the circus in too. The leader just wants Alexi to be left alone and tells everyone as such, but a few paranoid people conclude that this guy and American Doctor are at work with some Mexican spy cells (and Alexi).

Now I just need to figure out why they would have Diego deliver Alexi to them...

Another thing I was thinkin that might be a cliche was the two guys that worked in the freak shows in the circus Alexi lived in. They are after Alexi because they want their gold. (that Alexi...kinda stole from when he took off. :p)

EDIT: I agree with the romance. Why can't the girl just think Alexi's a nice kid and leave it at that? She can feel sorry for him and understand him, but why does she have to immediatly be his love interest?

I don't think your story sounds cliche at all. I do have a suggestion though, if you want to incorporate more of everyone's past, why not do different chapters from different character's points of view? It'll add more background to the story, and give the audience a different perspective.

Akeria wrote:I don't think your story sounds cliche at all. I do have a suggestion though, if you want to incorporate more of everyone's past, why not do different chapters from different character's points of view? It'll add more background to the story, and give the audience a different perspective.

That's EXACTLY what I had in mind.

It'd make for an interesting ending, seeing the same thing through different perspective.

Yay! I'm a mind reader.

Would you like me to close this, or do you want to keep it open in case you need more ideas?

Well, you can leave it open in case I have any more questions.