:: Ratty's randomly rattyful blog :: 3/6/10 ::

Today I was talking to my neighbor. I told him that my sister was going on a trip to Vietnam and he exclaimed, "to fight in the war?" I proceeded to tell him yes and also told him that gullible was written on the ceiling. We were outside. He still looked up. MLIA.

Last week, I got a picture of my car and a sheet saying I owed $50 because I ran a stoplight. (It was from one of those annoying cameras at intersections.) Thinking it would be funny, I sent a picture of money back to them. They sent back a picture of handcuffs. I should probably pay. MLIA.

Today, I was doing a pants drive. A random kid walked up to our stand, pulled off his pants, dropped them and proceeded to walk away in his underwear...thanks for the pants and your dignity mystery kid. MLIA

Today, while doing my homework I came across a map of Waldo County, Maine. I wondered why I'd never heard of this place before. Then I realized it made sense. MLIA

Today my sister saw me open a can of diet coke, then she preceded to yell at me for 10 minutes on what a horrible person i am for hiding the soda from her. She went in kitchen to make a sandwhich reaching behind the 24-pack of diet coke to get the cheese and she is still mad at me for not telling her where my secret stash is. MLIA.

Today, my school is doing a fundraiser. The cause? To help Albinos in Tanzania escape brutal killings. The solution: to donate sunglasses. Anyone else confused? MLIA

Today, my dad asked me what I want for Christmas. Since I didn't exactly know, I told him in a very sarcastic voice, "a pretty princess Barbie" to which he replies, "what flavor?" not knowing what to say I reply, "pumpkin." I can't wait to see what I;m getting for Christmas. MLIA

Sunday in church my brother (19) dragged one of his college friends up to my mom and explained that the church is running a program where you can 'adopt' a college student. My mother just looked at my brother and said "Why would I adopt him when I'm trying to get RID of you?" Best 'no' ever. MLIA

Today in class, we dressed up like Native Americans, ate cupcakes, and sat on the floor and read "The Very Hungry Caterpillar". I'm a senior in AP English. MLIA

Today, while my sister was making cookies I had an awesome idea about cookie dough flavoured cookies, only to be informed that those would just be normal cookies. MLIA

I was attending an acting class when a guy suggested everyone do thier most evil laugh. The teacher thought the idea was "SPECTACULAR" so I went through my laughs in my head. When it was my turn the person before me had a hilarious evil laugh and I began cackling (otherwise known as my normal laugh). I kept at it for about a minute when I finally stopped laughing from lack of air. When i looked up everyone had moved away from me with horrified expressions. "We have a winner!" the teacher declared and my friend and I high fived. Go me!!!MLIA

Today I found out that stores don't tax on Kit-Kat bars because they have a lot of wheat in them, considering them as nutritional. Totally wicked. MLIA

When we were kids, I got into an argument with my brother about whether or not I had ever had a bloody nose. My brother won the argument by hitting me in the nose.

Today, in math class, we had a substitute teacher. He put in the movie The Matrix and we started watching it. About two minutes into the movie, a face pops on to the screen saying "Surprise!" and the movie turns into a video my math teacher made of himself teaching the lesson in the event that we had a sub. MLIA.

Today, in American Lit our class was being louder than usual, so our teacher said, "GUYS quiet down!" all the girls stopped talking. Then he said "hmmm...LITTLE GIRLS be quiet!" all the guys then shut up and looked at the teacher. MLIA

Today, my brother, who is 20 years old, asked me what my favourite colour was. I said six. He walked away, and it wasn't until 1/2 and hour later that he told me he couldn't find any six coloured paper. MLIA.

i woke up in the middle of the night last night to see a large hole in my ceiling revealing the star filled sky. i sat up in my bed panicking for a few minutes before i realized that my ceiling was in tact and what i was seeing was glow in the dark stars that have been on my ceiling for the last 11 years. MLIA

A few days ago, in my science class, my teacher was talking about how "what goes up must come down." Right after he finishes that sentence, a kid throws a pencil into the ceiling so it sticks. Three days later,it's still stuck. MLIA

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer upstairs. My parents were downstairs getting ready to eat. All of a sudden I hear my dad say "There's a foreign substance in my food, why?" and my mom answered him by saying "They're vegetables. Eat them." MLIA

Today I came across a ADHD self-test online. The page took forever to load so I gave up and moved on. Only then did I realize that this was probably the test. I am now convinced of my diagnosis. MLIA.

The other day I was trying to send a text, but had no service, so I went up to my friend, put my phone up to her face, and the text message sent. My friends last name is Serviss. Coincidence? I think not. MLIA.

Today, I was walking to the bus when I pass a little kid. (I was always skeptical of all the stories on MLIA until this) The kid runs up to me and shouts ''I'm an asparagus! ASPARAGUS I TELL YOU!!'' and proceeds to run away, closely followed by someone dressed as a carrot. I'm still confused about many, many things. MLIA.

Today, I learned turtles can breathe through their butts. Mind Blown. MLIA.

Today, i was stretching in my dance class. We were sitting in a hurdle, and my feet were out to the side. I looked over at my foot, not realizing it was my own, and yelled out "OMIGOSH! IM WEARING THOSE SAME SOCKS!" Everyone laughed at me. MLIA

A few days ago, I went outside to scrape off my car before heading out. The scraper was in the car but I couldn't seem to get the door open. I tried almost all of the doors and spent 2 minutes pickig the ice off around one of them, to no avail. Giving up, I went inside and told my dad that my doors were frozen shut. He asked me if I had unlocked my car. I knew I was forgetting something. MLIA

Today, I made a mean joke to my friend. She texted me telling me she was giving me the silent treatment. Two minutes later, I noticed I had a voicemail from her. It was a 30 second message of silence. MLIA.

Today, my aunt found out she was pregnant with her second child. She told the news to my 4 year old cousin. She asked her, "Do you want a little brother or a little sister?" My cousin answered, "I want a cookie." MLIA.

Today, my friend asked me to hold his guitar case while he ran to talk to a professor. I spent the next twenty minutes convincing people I could not only play guitar, but was releasing my third CD in a month. One of the girls said she had heard of me and loved my work. I never took the guitar out of the case. MLIA.

Today I was watching a youtube video about ADD. I got distracted and clicked on another video about cats. It took me a minute to realize the irony. MLIA.

Today, we got back our zoology tests so we could see our grades. One of the questions asked how we were supposed to tell the difference between a living animal and a dead animal. I couldn't remember the answer so I wrote "Poke it." Full credit was awarded. MLIA

Today I went to visit my cousins. I found my 8 year old cousin jumping on his bed waving a plastic wiffle bat and wearing a bright red cape. I asked him what he was doing and he said "Being awesome" before leaping off the bed and running away. I have to agree with him. MLIA

Today, at dinner, my mom asked my sister how many kids she wanted. My sister replied "I want 22, each with a different daddy so I can get more child support" My sister is never allowed outside again. MLIA

Today, I was outside during band class. We were standing at attention when I heard a weird noise coming from my flute. Apparently, the wind can play the flute. I fingered all the music I have ever memorized and the wind played it for me. My director is still trying to figure out who was playing. MLIA

Today, I was playing Pokemon with my 2 year old sister when my Dad came into the room and took away my DS because I should be studying. My sister went over to my Dad and touched his leg giving him a pretty big static shock. While he yelped, my sister screamed "Pikaaaa!!" Never have I been so proud of my sister. MLIA

Today, I went to my girlfriend's college to take her out on a romantic evening. However, her friends decided to capture her and take her hostage. I had to play dodgeball against 17 girls to set her free. Needless to say, I think im going to go visit her more often. MLIA

Today I spun around in an office chair pretending to be a tornado. The news on the radio came on and said that a tornado was brewing. I now have suspicions I am Mother Earth. MLIA

Today, I took a quiz on facebook to see when I would die. It said I would die September 26, 2009. That was yesterday. I am clearly still alive. Take that Death. MLIA

Today, I got pulled over on the interstate. The officer asked me why I was going 88 mph. I didn't realize that was my actual speed, but I told him, "I must be trying to get back to the future but my flux capacitor doesn't seem to be working." He laughed. I still got a ticket. MLIA

Today my friend was talking about how she hates it when people name their kids after colors. Rose, Violet etc.. I then had to remind her that her name is Amber. MLIA

Today, one of my friends said to me if you say "Gullible" really slow, it sounds like ice cream. I said "Ice Cream" really slow and then I said, "Wow! It does!" He responded with, "No, you're supposed to say gullible slowly." And I reply with, "I did." He's still confused. MLIA.

Today, I went to a theme park. Getting off a very tame kiddie ride, I said to my friend, "Man, that drop had to be at least 75 feet. I can't believe they actually used real snakes." The look on the kids faces was priceless. MLIA

Today, I arrived home to find my sister screaming at our dog. Apparently, the dog had completely destroyed her 'Twilight' book. The dogs name is Buffy. I laughed at the irony. MLIA

Today, I taught my nephew to roar like a dinosaur. My family went to a nice restaurant for lunch and he and I had a dinosaur fight for an hour while the waitstaff and other diners laughed and took pictures. I'm 20, he's 7 months. He won. MLIA.