:: Ratty's randomly rattyful blog :: 3/14/10 ::

Today after reading a MLIA about a Dad sneezing with his eyes open I was determined to do it too. On my third attempt I think I did manage to keep my eyes open. Unfortunately leaving my eyes open forced me to pee my pants. I'm sorry science for trying to defy you. MLIA

Today, I saw a hobo with a sign that said "I need a dollar, but a smile would be nice too". I smiled at him. He flipped me off. MLIA

Today I learned that New Mexico has declared March 13 as Pluto is a Planet Day. High five New Mexico. MLIA

Today I read a list of 50 reasons why we don't sleep, reason number 22 was, 'we are too busy reading MLIA.' This is too true. But it should be higher on the list. MLIA

The other day, this woman tried to insult me with a "your mom" joke. This woman was my mother. I didn't feel insulted. MLIA

Today I melted butter in the microwave. I legitimately forgot the bowl. MLIA.

Today my friend asked me what time I was born. I told her 4:30ish. Then she asked AM or FM. She still has no idea as to why i laughed so hard. MLIA

Today, I realized immature spells I'm mature.

Today, I read an MLIA about someone talking in an Australian accent. I spent five minutes trying to do an Australian accent until I realised that I am already Australian. MLIA

Today, while I was looking through the mail, I found a "$1 off" coupon for the Dollar Store. Doesn't that make it free? MLIA

Today, a stranger on the elevator sneezed. She said thank you before I said bless you. It was awkward. MLIA

Today, I realized that every night I go to bed with socks on but wake up with none on. I was curious to where all my socks were ending up. I proceeded to lift up my bed sheets and look at the very end of my bed. My findings? 38 socks. MLIA.

Today, I got my statement from Geico. After doing the math, I found that I only saved 14.28% on my car insurance. I feel cheated. MLIA

Today I had to sneeze. When I sneeze I tend to squeak at the end. So as usual I squeaked but this one was REALLY loud. A few people laughed, a few people said "bless you" but then I hear: "Who kicked the chihuahua?!" Funniest part of my day. MLIA

Today in English, our teacher did the attendance at the end of class. I was thinking about saying something random, like saying "gift" instead of "here" or "present". When she said my name, I said "goat". Nobody noticed. MLIA.

Today, I was on Xbox Live playing CoD:MW2. In the middle of the match, I finally turned my mic on to talk to one of my teammates. As I was speaking, I hear, "HEY MOM! THERE'S A GIRL ON XBOX!" MLIA.

Today, I was giving a group of grade 8s a tour of my school so that they would see what high school is like. When we were in my science class, my teacher was calling chemistry "potions", threw on a black robe and insisted his name was Snape. I love my teacher. MLIA

Today I was listening to my iPod when i shook it to change songs. A Kanye West song came on. In the middle of the song, i shook it again, and a Taylor Swift song innterupted the Kanye West song. I feel like justice has been served. MLIA

Today, during French class, my teacher made all the kids who didn't have their books (about half the class) go up to the front of the room. She then proceeded to tell the rest of us to get our phones or cameras out, and had everyone who forgot their books sing and act out "I'm A Little Teapot". There's about 15 videos of it online already. MLIA.

Today I played Wii Fit while eating a fudge bar. It congratulated me for being healthy. MLIA

Today at work, (I work at Chick-fil-A) it was kids night. Every tuesday we have out the inflatable bounce for the kids to bounce in. I was in charge of the bounce house and when a little girl tried to go in, I stopped her because there were too many kids inside and she would have to wait for one to leave. She then looked at the nearest kid and exclaimed "Hey! They have cake inside!" This caused the kid to come flying out of the bounce house and the little girl jumped inside. I want this girl as my daughter. MLIA

Today, my friend tried to tell me a Spanish joke. In a Swedish accent. In the middle of a French lesson. MLIA

Today I learned that when I was five, during Thanksgiving when the whole family was visiting, I took a wine glass, filled it with water and used food coloring to make it look exactly like wine. I then took this into the room with all the adults, chugged it, and laughed hysterically while everyone freaked out. I was awesome. MLIA

Today, I saw a bulletin in the library asking people to write down short anonymous confessions. One near the top read "I can't be trusted with microwaves." I spent several minutes wondering what this person had done. MLIA

Today, I learned that the characters from Spongebob are supposed to represent the seven deadly sins: Patrick for Sloth, Squidward for Wrath, Sandy for Pride, Mr Krabs for Greed, Gary for Gluttony, Plankton for Jealousy, and Spongebob for Lust. Mind blown. MLIA.

Today, I left the movie Remember the Titans at home, meaning to bring it to a friends house. I had to laugh...because I forgot the Titans. MLIA

Today, my AP World History teacher, who is Irish with the accent and all, was given a mini box of Lucky Charms from a guy in my class. He was sent to detention. MLIA.

The other day i went with my boyfriend to disneyland. I nearly died while on Thunder Mountain. Why? Because my boyfriend was screaming like a girl and i couldn't breathe because i was laughing so hard. MLIA

Today, my 4 year old daughter spilled a glass of milk on my floor and started to cry. I told her not to cry over spilled milk. She moved about 6 feet away and continued to cry. MLIA.

Today I went down stairs for a pencil and came back up stairs with a piece of chocolate cake ...but im ok with that MLIA

Today, I was playing with an app on my iPod touch that has random facts. I was reading them out loud to my brother when I came to one that said "90% of paper money contains traces of cocaine." He looked at me in all seriousness and said "Is that why Mr. Krabs is so weird?" I had no response. That show has never made more sense to me. MLIA

Today in history class, my teacher was talking about persecution. He asked us where we would flee to if we were persecuted by the government. Seven kids simultaneously said Narnia. I couldn't agree more. MLIA

Today, my Nanna exclaimed 'Oh BEAVER!, it's raining, I can't water the garden!' I almost peed myself laughing. She still can't see what's wrong. MLIA

Today, I learned that starfish don't have brains. Patrick's character makes so much sense now. MLIA.

Today, my high school called saying I hadn't been in school today. I graduated last year. I still don't understand. MLIA.

For the past few weeks, Facebook has been suggesting that I know someone with whom I share no mutual friends. It confused me greatly. Today, I met this person. I am now convinced Facebook can predict the future. It terrifies me. MLIA