:: Ratty's randomly rattyful blog :: 5/30/10 ::

NONONONONONORORYNOHOWCOULDTHEYDOTHISNONONO! D: -takes deep breath- ANDTHENTHEYMADEAMYFORGETHIMNONONOSTUPIDCRACKINTHEWALL! Amy and Rory were so perfect together... -sniffle- Bring him back! Where's Rose when you need her? Dx

And the TARDIS piece... through the crack... o.0 That doesn't seem like it's going to end well.

We had a sub in my math class today. When she called role instead of saying here we all said chop. When the last person was called she said 'Timber!" and we all fell out of our desks. MLIA

Yesterday my best friend kept complaining about how no cool MLIA stories ever happen to him. So I told him that instead of waiting for an MLIA moment to happen, he should create the MLIA moment. Tomorrow he's dressing up to uni as a kangaroo and offering everyone piggy-back rides. MLIA

Last night I heard my brother get 'The Talk'. From his 6 year old son. MLIA

Today, I realised that my birth year was the Chinese year of the failure. I am now contemplating the purpose of my life.

Today my school lost power. After the lights went off some people started to panic, others just laughed. Our math teacher finally calmed people down enough so that we cuold hear the sound of a lawn mower. Outside there was a janitor using a big riding lawn mower. No one really cared until the dumbest blonde in the room asked "wait, how can he mow the lawn if the power's out?" I almost fell out of my chair laughing. MLIA

Today is my sister and I's 23 birthday. I received a card from our aunt that read "There is no other niece like you". We're identical twins and both received the same card. MLIA

Today, I realized if we all take the road less traveled, won't that make it the road most traveled? MLIA

I live in Switzerland. Today, my facebook friend from the U.S. asked me if they speak switzerlandish here. MLIA

Today, my mom walked into the kitchen to find me standing on a chair, holding my orange kitten and singing The Circle of Life. She didn't say anything, because she is used to it. MLIA

Today, there was a woodpecker banging on the side of our house. It has done this many times lately. As it is annoying to have a chunk of our house missing, I was instructed by my mom to shout at it and scare it away. Instead, I looked up "Go away" in Morse code, and knocked it from the inside of the wall the bird was pecking on. We haven't heard a sound from it since. I have found the hidden, universal language for all living creatures. MLIA

Today, I read an MLIA about a pencil getting stuck in the ceiling and staying there for three days. Someone threw a pencil that got stuck in the ceiling of my school's cafeteria at the beginning of my freshman year. I'm a junior right now and it's still there. MLIA

Today, I touch an electric fence to see if it would electrocute me. It did. MLIA

Today I realized that when you multiply 12345679 by 8 it equals 98765432. it excited me more than I should've. MLIA

Today I learned that if you feed a chicken a burrito it will explode because it can't fart. Mind Blown. MLIA

Today, I was in the car. The car in front of me had a bumper sticker that said "I'm not afraid of the dark, I'm afraid of the ninjas hiding in the dark." Me too, driver, me too. MLIA

Yesterday, in math class our teacher told us to go to page 314, at 3:14. I was extremely excited. But I was even more excited to learn that at 3:14 on page 314..we were learning about pi. 3.14. I started screaming. No one else got it..Including the teacher..MLIA

Today, i got a baseball stuck in a tree, and my Kite went through a window. Irony at its finest. MLIA

Today i saw a teenage boy walking down the street wearing a turban. Two obnoxious jerks then yelled "nice turban aladdin!" Without missing a beat he replied "SHHH you'll wake up Voldemort!" We high fived. MLIA

Today, I was babysitting three boys who are 9, 8, and 7. We were talking about movies. The 7 year old had to explain to me that it's called pay-per view, not paper view. I felt kind of lame. MLIA.

Yesterday was a class field trip, and on the way back, we were on one of two buses. Everyone was using their phones to prank call various people, and I decided to call my friend who was sitting right next to me on the bus, pretending to be her friend Shelby who was on the other bus. I had a conversation with her for a full five minutes before she turned and saw me next to her, having the same conversation. MLIA

so my school recently had spirit week. one of the days was gender bender day where everyone cross dresses. lets just say the day ended with seven fights,tweleve cops,one swat team, and five big football players going to jail in dresses. MLIA

Today I found out that for my dads highschool senior superlative he was calimed "most spacey." He was awarded a light saber. MLIA.

Today, I went up to a vending machine to buy some M&M's and instead of dispensing my chocolatey treats, it dispensed an $80 Black and Decker mini-drill set. Thank you tool-gods. MLIA

Today I discovered that my younger brother is not very good at geography. Apparently he thought Vancouver was somewhere near Montreal (We live in Montreal), he was not aware that "the part of the U.S. next to Yukon" had a name, and he thought that Alaska was a country near Europe. He's in highschool, I'm very worried. MLIA

Today my mother told me than when they where boarding the plane to Italy (sadly I couldn't come), the customs guy picked out the bag of my little sister to check it (apparently they picked up something when it went trogh the scan). But when he opened the bag he saw her 7 'VIP Pets' (pluch animals) and, as he thought is was so adorable, didn't check the rest of the bag and let them go through. When they got to the hotel my sister opened her bag and got out her big pocketknife. My parents where astonished and then tried to figure out how they could get the knife through customs again, back home. My sister is 10, she is now offically genius.

last night i was awaken around 3:00 AM because i heard some heavy breathing coming from my room. After I looked all around i realized i hadn't checked under my bed yet. When i looked i saw someone with a clown mask on (my brother) sleeping under my bed. I screamed, turned around to run out of the room, crashed into my wall and broke my finger. MLIA

Today my friend was telling me that her bus was the craziest bus I'll ever go on. I asked why and the answer was that the boys on her bus sit in a circle and scream naughty words as loud as they can for the whole bus ride. Well, I said, yesterday on the bus the short kid on our bus declared he was the goddess of the Scottish, proposed to my sister, and my friend swallowed 2 batteries. I think I win. MLIA.

Yesterday, while getting ready for school, my cat peed in my toilet. MLIA

Today I found a letter to 18-year-old me from 8-year-old me. Being 14 and very curious, I decided to open it. Inside, all it said was "Hello. I bet you're not 18." Little me knew old me very well. MLIA.

Today, I realized I had to tell my next door neighbor something really important, but I didn't know her phone number. So I wrote her a quick note, asking for her phone number. I put it in an envelope and walked over to her house, sticking the letter in her mailbox. As I was crossing my yard, I realized what I could have done. I am such an idiot. MLIA

Today, I found out that when my parents finally told my older brother that they were Santa he came down 20 minutes later and said " Wait, so you and mom are Santa for me or the whole world?" Thinking it was funny my dad said yes, for the whole world. Two days later my dad go a call at work telling him to go to my brothers school right away, when he got there they told him my brother was threatening kids saying " If you don't give me that I'll tell my dad on you, and he is Santa!" My dad's reaction? "Thats my boy!" I have a new respect for my family. MLIA

Today, while stopped at a red light, my friends and I saw a mouse safely cross a major intersection in the crosswalk. MLIA.

Today I was feeding my virtual pet, a rather loud cat, when my computer decided that "quiet" was no longer an option. As my fake cat was meowing, my 2 real cats were frantically searching for the 3 impostor kitty. I let them do this for an hour. Time while spent? I think so. MLIA.

Today, I found an old purse from when I was about five. Inside, I found a marble, a tiny army man, a magic marker, and a Canadian coin. At the bottom was a note in little me's handwriting that said "Tell Mom I'm a good theif." I forgot I was that awesome. MLIA.

Today, my friend asked me is marshmallows grew on trees or if they just grew out of the ground like potatos...I have great confidence in my friends.MLIA

Last year at a high school football game my friend and I werent really into it. My friend looked up at the score seeing 32(other team) to 18(our team). She looks at me and says "Thats not fair! 32 players against 18 players!" Blondest Friend Ever? I think so. MLIA

Today I received a phone-call from a tele-marketer, asking if I was interested in buying genuine Persian carpets. I couldnt think of a decent excuse so I said, "sorry! I'm a vegetarian!" the lady on the phone said. "Oh I fully understand." and hung up. MLIA

Today, I realized that MLIA stories have gone from 'Today I ate a sandwich' to 'Today I saw a person dressed as a sandwich running down the street' I think we're all happy with the change. MLIA

We've had a student teacher in my geography class for about a month now. Everyone hates her. She gave us a packet with a bunch of graphs and questions relating to them. I left her a note on each page telling her how this doesn't relate to geography at all. I meant to GRR! her off, but instead I got ten points of extra-credit for "relating my opinions to her." MLIA.

At a school assembly, the younger kids came to my middle school. These 3 second graders sat behind me and my friends. I turned around and said "hi". One of them told me he was a tater tot. Another one told me that "old guy doing the presentation" was going to die. 10 minutes later, he fainted. MLIA.

Today, my aunt excitedly told me that my little cousin had learned how to make animal sounds. I asked my cousin, "What does the piggy say?" He says, "oink oink." "What does the duck say?" "Quack quack." "What does the cow say?" "Eat more chicken!" MLIA

Today, my phone rang. When I answered it, I heard nothing on the other end, so I naturally repeated "Hello?" a couple of times. When that didn't work, I said, "You have five seconds until self distruct. Five. Four. Three. Two..." the person then screamed and hung up. I think I'll be doing this more often. MLIA.

I was taking a a PSAT test because in my school it is required for 10th graders to take it. Each student had a sticky note with our names on it so we would know where to sit. One of my friends was sitting across from me and the teacher asked him, "Erin, where is your name tag?" and he responds, "I threw it out." The teacher then says "Well, go and get it." Erin then says, " I- I can't." Puzzled the teacher says "Why not?" His response? Looking ashamed he finally says, "I ate it." It took everything in me not to laugh during the PSAT. MLIA

I was teaching a class of seniors about the Mexican Revolution, and I was showing a power point about how all of the leaders either die or or are exiled. One of my students said, "Being the leader of Mexico is like trying to keep the Defense Against the Dark Arts job at Hogwarts!" I love my job.

One day at lunch, me and my friends were debating what language is the best. I said spanish because it's the second most spoken language in the U.S. Then my friend looked at me, confused, and asked whats the first? MLIA

A few nights ago, I realized that every time there is one of those awkward silences, I hear the Jeopardy theme song playing in my head waiting for someone to speak. I noticed this when someone asked me why I was bobbing my head. MLIA

Today, a popped balloon landed on my head. I looked at it closely, and realised that it was the balloon which I had lost in the sky a week ago. MLIA.

Today, I was at my grandparents farm and they have these ducks and chickens, my grandparents want to hatch these duck's eggs but they don't sit on there eggs, so that's the chickens job. Well my sister hears this and says "But if you put a duck egg under a chicken won't you get a chicken?" My sister is 21. MLIA

Yesterday, my friend brought a pineapple to school for absolutely no reason. I named it Keeth. Today, he walked up to me with a container full of pineapple peices. He then said, "Keeth died; want a bite?" MLIA.

Today, I was sitting in my American History class with a poster of all of the states behind me. Two of the girls in my class started looking at the poster, and all of a sudden they gasped really loudly. My teacher asked what was wrong, and they said, "We didn't know Alaska is up by Canada! We thought it was an island by California." They were completely serious. MLIA

Today at school I was sitting outside on a bench when I looked towards the entrance and saw a kid run in to an automatic door. We put WAY to much faith into those things… MLIA

At school today in the cafeteria I waved at an ex. girlfriend whom I broke up with roughly a month and a half ago. She returned the favor by flipping me off and going to get the school police officer to "talk" to me... He walked toward me with an angry look on his face, turned me around, pointed her out, and said "I'm not really going to say anything, I just want her to think I am. Alright, she left, nice to meet you." And promptly walked away.... I just met my first cool cop. MLIA

Today we found my one-year-old sister's secret stash. For the past two months, she has been hiding my phone, my sister's iPod, my dad's recoding headphones, and my favorite teddy bear. MLIA

Today, I was sitting in my Spanish class when my friend Tyler tried to jump over a chair as he's walking back to his seat. He tripped over it and nearly fell on his face. I told him he was losing his ninja skills. He got up a few minutes later to give something to the teacher, and then he came back to face the exact same chair. He stood there for a few minutes, then slowly pushed it out of his way and sat down next to me. I think he learned a valuable lesson. MLIA

Today, my brother wanted me to fist bump him. I had the idea of doing the turkey trick, where one person high fives while the other fist bumps, without him knowing. Apparently he had the same plan because we ended up high fiving each other instead. MLIA.

Today I was going through a box of my old gymnastics ribbons from when I was a little kid, and I found one that said 5th place. "Hey mom," I said, "look, I must've been pretty good when I was little!" She looked at me, smiled condescendingly, and said, "You don't remember, but there were only 5 kids in that competition." MLIA

Today, I tried to unlock my dorm room door. I kept trying and I couldn't. After seeing me frustrated, my neighbor came out to help, and quickly informed me that my car clicker does not work on my dorm room. MLIA

Today, I found out that when my grandpa was 5 his "girlfriend" was 3. One day, she went over to his house to play. He locked her in the parlor and told her "girls stay at home" and went outside and played with his friends for an hour. She's now a nun. I wonder if that had anything to do with it. MLIA

Today, I told my father I would laugh if he died. He stared at me shocked for a second, then remembered he was playing a video game. MLIA

I'm spending the night at my friends house and she has passed out. She talks in her sleep. She just said, in a voice that sounded completely awake, "No Darth Vader, I am YOUR father." I love my friend.

Today, I learned that Farmville players outnumber real farmers in the US by a ratio of 60 to 1, and that Farmville is bigger then twitter. I am not surprised by this fact. MLIA

Yesterday I really didn't feel like going to school so I told my mum that the school was expecting a snow day so they're not opening. She let me stay at home. We live in Sydney and its currently summer. I dont know if I should be worried....MLIA

In high school my spanish teacher walked out of the classroom so the whole class decided to turn everything in the classroom around but continue doing work quietly like nothing happened. The teacher walked back in, didn't say a word, walked up to her backwards podium and began teaching facing the wall. best.teacher.ever.MLIA.

Today, my friends and I were talking about different shapes for a snow cone, such as a snow cube or a snow pyramid. Then, one of my friends said, "What about a snow sphere?" I then informed him that this is called a snowball. MLIA

Last night, when I was getting ready for bed, I didn't want to get up and turn off the light. So I decided to say Nox, just like Harry Potter. The lights went out. I look at my alarm clock, which is also off. Turns out my dad accidentally turned the power off. I've never been so disappointed in my life. MLIA.

Today my grandfather came to visit after ten years apart. I grew bored with the grownup conversation and went into my living room and turned on southpark. A few minutes later my grandfather walked in and sat down next to me. When the show was over he shook his head, saying- “ash keeps getting shorter and pikachu looks more and more human every year.” i've never laughed harder.

I was in Starbucks yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat. After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my Latte and then noticed that everybody was staring at me. Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod. MLIA

Today I found out that when my parents were dating my mom broke up with my dad and then drove away in his car. They made up when she had to bring the car back. MLIA.