The Sown Shadow - I'm not okay.

by **shadowsowner888** 1/23/2010, 11:21 am

Written 1/23/10.

You got that dang right . . . I'm not okay. ._.

This is the reason I have all these new icons and stuff. Because every one of them is absolutely true.

Don't ask me what triggered it, but somehow, I've been feeling a lot worse lately about how I'm such sprite to my mom. xP I woke up yesterday all depressed . . . and probably still would be, if not for getting to see my friend (though she was convinced my mom was just joking around with the favorites thing -.-) and Megatokyo.

Megatokyo is amazing. It saved me from being in a flunk all day. It gives me a dose of fantasy and real life at the same time, and I am totally in l0v3. <3 My new obsession. If only I could choose whether to marry Piro or Largo . . . you know what's totally epic? Fred actually is okay with people posting images from the site and people making fanfics about MT. I love him. <3 He's the exact opposite of a fan abuser. He's so nice . . . maybe I wanna marry Piro.

But, he's the quite and awkward one, even if he is incredibly sweet. Largo's energetic, l33t, and awesome . . . even if he does drink too much. We get each others' computer addictions, and my days would never be dull with him.

Augh, decisions. T.T;;

Well, Megatokyo aside . . . *sigh* I have issues. :/ I'm embracing them right now, just for the sake of this blog, cus I need to get it out. But if you see any other posts, and think, "Oh, Shadow's herself as usual," don't think so. Because I am not.

I'm finding myself liking Mary Black more and more . . . she was the only sympathetic one in RL out of everyone I told about the favorites thing, even more so than Ann. She said, "Oh my gosh, are you okay? =["

She cares. ._. I was okay . . . at the moment, so I said yeah.

But now it's not true. I'm very not okay.

I don't get how my mom can do this. She goes around treating my baby sister like the greatest thing in the world, than dumps her on the rest of us. She says she loves us, then treats us like crap. It's all the little things that get to me . . . and now that I have this evidence of her disgusting soul, I'm letting them get to me even more than before. >.>

Oh boy, look at me. Now I'm listening to my Shadow Souls playlist because of all the depressing music. ._. (Yes, the book is depressing. It's my New Moon in the series.)

I must write more! D= I don't really wanna read, cus I'm still having this headrush since I finished Megatokyo 5 last night. Even though I'd love to start reading Maximum Ride. I don't want to force the MT glee out prematurely. So instead I should write . . . about Megatokyo. Yush.

Oh, how I adore you . . . oh how I thirst for you . . . oh how I need you . . .

Comatose is my themey song. Just that line matches all my crushes, fictional or real, and of course Jesus.

Waking up to you never felt so real . . .

That line is, oddly enough, for all my voices. xP

I will never wake up without an overdose . . .

See above.

Comatose, comatose, comatose . . . I love this song.

I think I'm tired of being the hyper one in RL. I want to be the sad one, the one who needs saving.

But that wouldn't change the way any of the boys think about me, most likely. xP I'm still just a sprite . . . everyone loves me, but I'm nobody's favorite. ._. I want my prince charming . . .

Maybe today will be a good day, when I'm off the computer. Maybe not. We shall see.

by **Arianna** 1/23/2010, 11:25 am

*sigh* Sorry, again. Sad

by **shadowsowner888** 1/23/2010, 12:03 pm

"That's okay," Shadow replied with a slight grimace, looking down at the pale dirt road of the marketplace. (Yes, I'm giving Twig a medievalish setting.) "Thanks for taking the time to read me moping . . ." She half smiled.

by **Arianna** 1/23/2010, 12:30 pm

"What's with the third person?" asked Arianna, raising her eyebrows. She didn't exactly understand, but she would play along with it. "And by the way, no problem. We've all got complaints sometimes."

by **shadowsowner888** 1/23/2010, 12:34 pm

"Oh, well, I picked it up from fleamailman," Shadow replied, nodding matter-of-factly. "You'll see a lot more of it if you read his introduction topic. It's basically 'live writing' - an all the world's a stage type of thing - and . . . well, it's cool. And fun, and it lets you be your true writer self." Smiling she spread her arms out and started spinning around. "And plus, it feels like roleplaying - ish . . . which is amazingly cool."

by **Arianna** 1/23/2010, 1:54 pm

"Oh, I noticed his introduction thread," said Arianna, smiling. She pondered it for a second. "Though I have not replied. Perchance it would be a good idea to do that now?" Arianna looked down at the Scribblenauts game on her DS. "Hmm, perhaps later... Say, have you any time to reply to Mind Rain?"

by **shadowsowner888** 1/24/2010, 11:37 am

"Nnngh," Shadow moaned, laughing as she buried her face in her hands. "Not really . . . I get on and end up getting off as soon as possible, without doing much else. I can't even reply now, because I need to leave for church soon."

by **Arianna** 1/24/2010, 11:59 am

"Aww, that's too bad," said Arianna, looking disappointed. However, she had stuff to do - such as attending to her brother's birthday party - so she wouldn't have been able to reply, either. "But it's fine. I know what you mean. I still have to do all of this homework - and it's Sunday evening already."

by **shadowsowner888** 1/25/2010, 8:08 pm

Eugh. xP I hope you managed to get it done! Lol, and I shall keep trying to have a chance to reply.

by **Komoda** 1/25/2010, 10:33 pm

Aw, I'm so sorry you've been down lately. =/ Just stay strong. It will pass, believe me. You'll be happy ol' Shad' in no time!

by **shadowsowner888** 1/26/2010, 8:56 pm

Thanks Mo. ^^ Yes, I think you're quite right . . . it's already mostly gone, I think. :3

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