Re: Hallelujah *Not finished* Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

by twilighter3000 6/21/2009, 11:32 am

I posted more guys! It's on the last post of the 1st page! Tell me what you think!

by twilighter3000 6/21/2009, 3:46 pm

Does anyone want to read more of my story? Crying or Very sad

by **shadowsowner888** 6/21/2009, 6:25 pm

I loved it! Very Happy

Lol, this line really hit home with me-

I love Steph, but sometimes she had a one track mind.

XD Like, I so bet that's what my friend Anne thinks about me. I seriously have a one track mind when it comes to my crush.

by twilighter3000 6/21/2009, 7:02 pm

Thanks Shadow! I know, right? I'm sure my friends sometimes think that about me too! lol! Especially the ones who know who I like! [I get distracted from most things really easily though] I'll be sitting there, and then I'll be like, "ooh, look, a pink folder!" Or something like that. IDK, don't ask. lol!

by twilighter3000 7/1/2009, 7:29 pm

Should I post the beginning of this scene I started writing in the car? It's more towards the end, but I just couldn't wait to write it... Or would that ruin the story for you guys? Because I'm not exactly sure how it'll turn out, it's just kinda an idea...

by **PugsRock** 7/1/2009, 7:55 pm

Good job!

Post more soon!

by **shadowsowner888** 7/2/2009, 6:54 am

I would wait until it's supposed to go in, Danielle, just in case. Smile

by **SaddleClub** 7/2/2009, 11:57 am

Can't wait for more!! Smile

I like chapter 4 so far! Smile

by twilighter3000 7/2/2009, 8:45 pm

Thanks guys! Okay Shadow, I was leaning towards that option too! Sorry for the wait guys, I've been really busy, and just came back from vacation so...

by twilighter3000 7/2/2009, 10:08 pm

I finished chapter 4! Tell me what you think!

by **DreamCatcher81** 7/3/2009, 12:21 am

OMG! It's soo good? What's gonna happen???????

by twilighter3000 7/3/2009, 12:36 pm

You'll have to keep reading---lol! I'll try to post more later, but my parents are home today, so IDK if I'll be able to...

by **SaddleClub** 7/3/2009, 12:55 pm

I'll be a good, patient girl. XD

by twilighter3000 7/3/2009, 2:38 pm

Thanks Saddle! lol! I'll try to write more now, my mom and dad were on earlier for taxes and stuff...

by **DreamCatcher81** 7/3/2009, 6:28 pm

Ok! This is a great story!

by twilighter3000 7/3/2009, 7:04 pm

Thanks! I'm gonna start writing now, I had to go somewhere earlier!

by **DreamCatcher81** 7/3/2009, 7:08 pm

Oh ok. Ya I know what you mean! xD I've been trying to work on Beneath the Waves for like the whole day but then my parents made me go to the trail and run and then clean up the whole house and then go water outside because it was chore day I guess...

by twilighter3000 7/3/2009, 7:09 pm

That happens to me all the time! lol! People are always going, "oh, I guess this story is never going to get finished, oh well." And I'll be like, "no, I'm still writing it, I've just been busy!" lol!

by twilighter3000 7/3/2009, 7:44 pm

Behind Closed Doors

“Hey there beautiful.” I heard the unmistakable deep voice of Ben Tyler murmur in my ear as he dragged me in the janitor’s storage room.
Crap! I thought as he flicked off the light, his face was once again close to mine. I could hear his breathing in my ear, and smell his breath that was tickling my throat. He drew me closer, both his arms around my waist, pulling me unwillingly into his chest.
“You’ve developed quite well over the summer, gotten to be quite a hottie.” Ben growled into my ear.
I struggled, pulling away from him, but he was strong, and kept me there, in his arms.
“Why so defiant, babe?” He asked, and I could hear a slight note of irritation in his voice. Without waiting for an answer, his lips met mine in a totally unromantic way, crushing me to him and only letting go after a full 30 seconds, leaving me gasping for breath. I could feel his hand creeping up my top, and I tried hopelessly to push him away again.
Bang! A rush of fresh air pushed into the room, causing my hair to flutter in front of my face. I pushed it back quickly, and looked up. Luke was standing there, long and lean, his eyes going straight to Ben’s hands. Ben pulled away, cursing under his breath, and stepped up to Luke, who was a couple inches taller than him. He kept advancing until he was nose to nose with Luke, and even with Luke’s height advantage, I couldn’t see how Luke could get away unscathed if this turned into a fight. I looked behind Luke, thinking that at least a teacher could break them up, but the hallways were empty; class must have already started. Luke subtly slid his hand towards me, and grabbed my hand, pulling me past Ben. Letting out another curse Ben went to follow us as we practically ran down the hall, but just then Mr. Curtis, our History teacher came out into the hallway.
"Why are we not in class now?" He asked as Luke and I stopped quickly, letting go of each other's hands. His eyes swiveled from Luke and I to Ben, who was just outside the janitor's closet, his face practically purple from being tricked.
"Um, I just had to go to the bathroom before class Mr. Curtis. Upset stomach." I whispered, not looking him in the eye.
"What was that, Miss-?" Mr. Curtis said, quickly walking closer.
"I had an upset stomach Mr. Curtis." I said, louder, and when he still looked suspicious, I added, "girl problems."
"Oh." He said, quickly turning to Luke.
"And what about you young man?"
"Uhhh, well, Lizzie's showing me around the school, and I didn't know how to get to my next class without her, so I decided to wait."
Mr. Curtis looked at me to confirm it, and I nodded quickly.
"Very well, you two may go to class now. Mr. Tyler, I would like a word with you."
Under normal circumstances I would have stopped to think of why Mr. Curtis knew Ben's name, but I was still in shock that we had gotten away with what had just happened. As we quickly walked to our locker so I could get my things, we could hear Mr. Curtis begin lecturing Ben about being late to class, and that he didn’t want to hear about it again.
"Oh my gosh, I can't believe we got away with that!" I said, giving a nervous laugh as soon as we got far enough away from Mr. Curtis and Ben.
"What is with that guy?" Luke demanded, looking me directly in the face as we walked to English.
"I don't know, he just has this problem where he can't control himself around girls and drags them into dark enclosed spaces." I said, trying to sound cool and undeterred, but honestly I was a little creeped out by Ben.
"Ugh, I hate guys like that. They're the reason a lot of woman think guys are like that, with no respect for their personal space."
I studied Luke, thinking, wow, how lucky am I for my first real guy friend to be so nice. He pulled open the door to the English classroom, letting me step through, and we quietly explained that Mr. Curtis was talking to us, and then took our seats in the only empty chairs, which were, of course, front and center. At the moment, I was glad Steph wasn't there, because if she had been, she would have been drilling holes in my back, trying to figure out what had happened to make me late to my first class of the year.
The rest of English passed without an incident, Mr. ______ just giving a brief intro on who he was, then dove right into our first unit. The bell rang and everyone quickly got out of his or her seats, already wishing for summer to start again. Luke and I headed to our lockers in comfortable silence, and grabbed our things for our next class. Just as we stepped back from our locker Steph pounced.
"Lizzie, I heard your voice out in the hallway when Mr. Curtis left the classroom. What happened?"
Of course Steph already knew something had happened, she had History with Mr. Curtis first, and I hoped that everyone hadn't been able to decipher my words.
"I'll explain later, come by my house after school." I said as we split different ways for our next class. As soon as Steph went the opposite direction Luke stepped up next to me, and said, "let me know if I'm bothering you, I understand if you have a lot of other friends to hang out with."
"No Luke, it's fine, I don't have a ton of other friends anyway."
I had some friends, but we weren't that close, and we just talked in the morning before homeroom and occasionally saw a movie. With a best friend like Steph, who needed other friends?
“Really?” Luke said, “you just strike me as the type of person who’d have a ton of friends that were always with her.”
“Well, I don’t.” I said, and ducked my head when I realized how rude I sounded.
We continued chatting as we walked to Spanish, asking things about our families and what we wanted to study in college.
I smiled vaguely at Sarah Gonzalez as she waved at me from across the room, still listening to Luke about his hobbies.
“I like to play the drums,” Luke explained in a low voice as people chattered around us. “But I don’t want a lot of people to know, because then I’d have a lot of pressure on me, you know?”
“Yeah, I know.” I said in an equally low voice.
That was the way I felt about playing guitar; everyone would expect you to be the person they though a guitarist should be.
“I just didn’t want to be labeled as ‘the drummer’, because I’m good at other things too.” Luke said, pushing his binder to the side of his desk and taking out a pencil.
“Yeah, I know exactly how you feel.” I said, my stomach going tight and I wanted to tell Luke so bad about playing guitar and singing. But before I could get it out, Mrs. Gonzalez, Sarah Gonzalez’s mom, walked into the room and began taking roll.
“Now, since we are in Spanish class, I would like you to say ‘Aqui’ instead of ‘here’, okay class? You are to speak in Spanish whenever you can.”
“Yes Mrs. Gonzalez.” Our class droned.
“What was that?” She said, her lips twitching.
“Si Mrs. Gonzalez.” We said, quickly correcting ourselves.
She began handing out packets with basic Spanish conversations to review that night so we could speak to each other in Spanish. Much of the class sniggered when she explained this, and I concluded that the majority of the class was here because of the common belief that it was an easy class. It was true that Mrs. Gonzalez was a pretty easygoing teacher, but I hated the fact that I would be stuck with a bunch of slackers. I’d been taking Spanish every summer since 2nd grade, and after school throughout middle school.
The hour went by quickly, as all we did was review the basic Spanish words we learned in 8th grade and were supposed to have studied over the summer. I sighed when it became apparent that less than half of the class had even taken the study packet out of their binder after June 6th.
“That was a nightmare, wasn’t it?” Luke asked, grinning as he took in my expression as we walked out the door.
“Si Senor.” I said, beginning to smile again. “Everyone in there doesn’t care about learning Spanish; they just want an easy A!”
“Whoa, take it easy Senorita Lizzie. Not everyone in there was a total slacker; just most of them.”
“You were this close to making me feel better Luke!” I said, putting my thumb and index finger less than an inch apart and pouting.
Grinning, Luke said, “well, I guess I’ll have to do better next time you need cheering up.” He blushed, his cheeks going a faint pink when I raised my eyebrows at him.
Quickly, he said, “oh look, there’s Steph! You probably shouldn’t just walk past her locker, or she’d think you were ditching her for me.”
I rolled my eyes at his pathetic attempt to change the conversation subtly, and walked over to Steph’s locker.
“Hey Steph. How was French?”
“Dur.” Steph replied. “Hard.” She explained when I just stared at her. “What about Spanish?”
“Well, I enjoyed it, but almost the entire rest of the class only took it because they think it’s an easy A.”
“That stinks.” Steph said sympathetically; she knew how important Spanish class was to me.
I sighed, then brightened, saying, “well at least we have choir together!”
Steph was a pretty good singer, but had no desire to take the world by storm as a performer. She was planning on studying the arts in college, but for designing clothes, not singing. Steph visibly brightened and began talking at top speed about how hot the guys in our grade had gotten over the summer, while I nodded and occasionally added another guy that had gone from scrawny geek to hot muscleman.

by **DreamCatcher81** 7/3/2009, 7:48 pm

That's good!!!!

by twilighter3000 7/3/2009, 7:54 pm

Thanks! I'm gonna change the bang to something more descriptive, but I just didnt' feel like it when I was writing it... lol!

by **DreamCatcher81** 7/3/2009, 8:02 pm

Haha. Ok then! xD

by twilighter3000 7/3/2009, 8:08 pm

*Sigh* Are you the only person who likes my story or something? Because no one's commenting...

by **DreamCatcher81** 7/3/2009, 8:17 pm

I like it!!! And other people do to! It's the most popular original story now if you hadn't noticed!!! xD

Don't worry. Saddle and Shadow are the only people who read my story! xD

by twilighter3000 7/3/2009, 8:36 pm

Ooh, I guess it is! lol! Thanks, you made me feel better! Whoops! I didn't even see yours, I'll go read yours!

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Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

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Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

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Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!

Re: Hallelujah Not finished Chapter 11 From Luke's Perspective is up!