The Sown Shadow - What the heck am I supposed to think?

by **shadowsowner888** 2/12/2010, 1:50 pm

Written 2/12/10.

Apparently my dad knows some people.

One of his buddies is helping him get a better job . . . and he might have one. I kinda got to read the printed emails over my mom's shoulder. The guy said my dad looked like he'd be good for the job, he'd just need to get himself back into the swing of things or something. I don't know much about the job at all, so I'm not sure what exactly that means.

This is good, right? Cus this job is better than the crappy one he has with his brother. Anything else would be better, and I'm suspecting he's actually gonna have a steady income for once, too. If this works out, he'd probably take a while to get used to it . . . and the job isn't necessarily going to be permanent, cus the last one who had it ended up getting let go.

But if it is . . . well, the job is in Texas. We live in Illinois. So we'd move. Away from our friends, away from the city I'm familiar with, away from half our family, and possibly even away from being able to homeschool . . .

And, while I do want my family to get out of it's money problems (it scares me having to let my parents borrow money) . . . I don't want it this way. ._. I can't be picky, and I'd prefer this to things staying the same, I guess. But I never wanted to move . . . I thought we'd be around here for the rest of our lives. I wanted to grow up with my same batch of friends . . . I want to keep going to teen club, and keep playing in band . . . I want the summers of getting together with my friends, seeing movies with them, and knowing I'm in the same state as Gotham City. (Chicago.) I mean, seriously. Who wouldn't wanna be in the same state as Gotham City?

I lose so much if I go to Texas. At least things will be warmer . . . gah, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. It's like there's this sad little pressure on my heart, and I don't know how I'm supposed to feel or anything. ._. If we moved, it would suck. I've just started to make my place out here. I like going out in public and being able to feel like flaunting just because I know who I am and feel confident about myself. I'm worried I'd lose that if I went to Texas, just because I wouldn't know anybody. I don't want to lose it all.

*sigh* And just to make my troubles for this day worse, I'm finding out my friend Natalie's mom has some serious issues. Yes, I'm being scornful, but I don't think it's fair that I invite Natalie to come over because this other lady has to pick people up from Natalie's place anyway and then bring somebody else to my house, then her mom goes and decides that maybe she'll actually go to the crappy little kids Valentines Day party anyway or even just go to somebody else's house. She doesn't know her own daughter. She doesn't know her at all, and right now I'm really hating her guts. This is the kinda thing that annoys me with my mom, how she goes around doing all these unfair things as if they're perfectly okay. >.<

I want my friend. pale

She's the only one I can talk to about this stuff like I do to you guys, because she's the only one who gives me the answers I need. Everyone else just says "that really sucks xP" if something bad happens. ._.

I wish, for once, my mom would just leave me alone. >.< She bosses me around like heck and doesn't do anything herself except boss people around. I don't want her in charge of me. Maybe I should just, like, move out and live with the Blacks for the rest of my underage years. They have an extra room anyway. At least then things wouldn't have to change.

by **LuckyPenny666** 2/12/2010, 4:17 pm

Aw, I'm sorry, Shadow! *Hugs.* I hope things end up working out nicely, even if you're unsure as to what would be the best for you.

by **shadowsowner888** 2/12/2010, 4:18 pm

Thanks Lucky. :/ I hope so too.

by **Jesus4Eternity** 2/12/2010, 4:56 pm

I really don't know what to say, Shad. This'll sound corny, but...

Life just stinks sometimes. You've got to find the good parts.

Yeah, corny. xD But, as someone said, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

by CocoaPuff 2/13/2010, 3:39 am

I'm sorry you might have to move Sad

But things will work out, you might meet some amazing new friends/ future boyfriend in Texas ^-^ God has a plan and it'll all work out Shadow! Either way, you'll still have your family, and everyone on this site.

by **shadowsowner888** 2/13/2010, 12:22 pm

xD Lol, true. Maybe I'll find my RL Largo out there!

Thanks, Yuki. ^^ Lol, finding my boyfriend out there would be a dream come true. x3

by **Komoda** 2/14/2010, 9:53 pm

Aw, I'm sorry you might have to move... :/ But on the bright side, things will probably work out either way. Moving is always a great opportunity to make new friends because everyone's interested in the new kid. :3

by **shadowsowner888** 2/16/2010, 12:05 am

xD That's true. Maybe a few boys will even be interested! What a Face

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